Depraved

Chapter 1

Christ, I want this woman. I want her so bad my bones ache.

She continues to taunt me… slowly inching the hemline of her dress up those silky, smooth legs. Macy sits in my office—seeking my help on a legal case—trying to seduce me. There are a million reasons why I shouldn’t fuck her but one really fantastic reason why I should.

That reason lays right between her legs. Two inches higher on that hem and it’s going to be impossible for me to say “no”.

Anger starts to bubble hot. I’m pissed at myself because I’m so weak, and I’m furious at Macy for exploiting that weakness.

Rage rises up in me over the way she makes me feel helpless and I stand up from my desk like a raging bull, slapping my hands hard on the wood. “For fuck’s sake, what the hell is wrong with you?”

Macy’s hand freezes, and I feel unbelievable disappointment deep in my gut that she’s stopped just shy of what I consider to be nirvana. Her eyes are round and wide, blinking slowly at me. The sensual smile that was on her face melts right off, and humiliation rises red in her cheeks.

And fuck.

Are those tears building in her eyes?

I have no clue because she blinks those beautiful blues rapidly and shoots out of her chair. Shouldering her purse, she spins away and takes long-legged strides toward the door.

I hesitate for just a split second, long enough for her to make it halfway across my office, before I’m practically hurdling my desk to get to her. It’s fortunate my legs are much longer than hers are because in just a few galloping strides, I reach her just as her hand touches the doorknob.

Rather than pull her away, I keep barreling forward and press her hard into the door, her entire lush backside nestled against me perfectly. With a slow grind of my hips against her, my hard cock is knocking just above her back door.

Macy goes absolutely still as I place my palms on the door on either side of her head. Damn… that fucking shampoo gets to me, and I bury my nose into the back of her neck to inhale. It’s a gentle, intimate act and it causes Macy’s body to shiver, maybe in pleasure, maybe in abhorrence.

“You are driving me bat-shit crazy,” I whisper into her ear.

She wiggles her body, rubbing against my dick. It’s straining hard to get out of my pants, and I feel twitchy all over with lust.

I drop one hand away from the door, lean my body slightly to the side, and take the edge of her hemline in my fingers. Slowly, I drag the edge of it up, curving my fingers so my knuckles can scrape along that soft skin. When I reach the top of her thigh, I spread my fingers and angle them inward, lightly stroking her skin.

I should do this. I should fuck her right here in my office and not have a moment’s regret over it. I mean… I’ve done one-night stands before, so I’m cool with casual sex. On more than one occasion, I’ve slept with a woman and walked away, never to encounter her again. This would be no different, right?

Except… this would be the second time I’ve been with Macy, so it’s not just a one-night stand. It’s not just some random. That means this is something more, and that scares the shit out of me because I’m the type of guy that can easily lose his heart to the right woman.

My subconscious growls at me. Tells me to man up and stop being so wishy-washy. Tells me to consider the facts before me.

Macy Carrington isn’t the type of woman I could ever lose my heart to because she’s not the type of girl that will, in turn, care for a man’s heart. So I should be safe if I just acknowledge that it’s casual.

Won’t be anything more than casual.

I’m pretty much resolved, but still I ask, “Why a repeat with me? That’s not your normal modus operandi.”

My fingers continue to slide up and down the skin of her inner thigh, no more than an inch from her folds, which I guarantee are slick with need.

Macy huffs out a breath of frustration, flexing her hips in an attempt to get my fingers to relieve her. “Touch me,” she pleads, and I cannot believe the emotion I’m hearing in her voice. I would bet Macy Carrington has never begged for anything in her life.

I abruptly pull my hand away from her thigh and spin her around in my arms. Her eyes are wide and confused. It makes me want to comfort her, so I raise my hand to cup her cheek before sliding it through her soft hair where I gently grasp the back of her head.

“Why do you want a repeat with me?” I ask her again.

She opens her mouth, but nothing comes out. I give her an encouraging squeeze. “Why?” I ask again.

“Because the sex was good,” she blurts out.

I cock an eyebrow at her. “All sex is good. Try again.”

“It was great then,” she amends.

“You’ve had great sex before,” I say quietly before pointing out, “but it never made you go back for seconds.”

Her eyes lower. She nibbles on her lip.

I wait patiently.

Without looking back up at me, she says, “Because it was different.”

This is a truth because fuck yeah… it was completely different. It was completely different because it was like the best sex ever.

At least in my mind.

But I think Macy might mean something else.

I decide to push at her. “How was it different?”

She lifts her gaze to me, and I don’t see confusion there anymore. Instead, I see stubborn determination and sizzling heat in those beautiful azure eyes. “Why don’t I show you how it was different?” she asks in a husky voice, bringing her hands up to my belt.

The pulse that runs through the big vein underneath my cock starts thumping violently at the prospect of her putting those delicate hands down my pants. The promise in her voice, her touch… it all makes my skin go tight with anticipation.

I contemplate a few things.

Should I press her… make her divulge to me in her own words just how I’m different?

Should I let her show me instead?

Or maybe I should just back away right now, because what in the hell am I thinking… getting involved with this woman?

My dick jerks angrily at that last thought, and I know, without a doubt, that I’ve made my choice.

I’m going to let Macy show me.

I drop my hand from behind her head and lean my upper body back a bit to watch as her hands work efficiently.

Belt undone and pulled free swiftly.

Button and zipper dispensed with the confidence of a pro.

Warm hands dipping into my boxer briefs at my hips and pushing the material down, along with my trousers, until my dick is freed.

A quavering breath gushes from between my lips when Macy’s hand circles around my erection, fisting it firmly before giving it a few strokes.

Oh, man, that feels so fucking good.

“Lay down,” Macy whispers as she releases her hold on me and steps back. Her hands go down to the bottom of her dress, where she grabs the material and fluidly pulls it up. She reveals beautiful legs, then, just as quickly, her beautiful pussy comes into view and my mouth waters. Up, up, up and over those perfect tits that are without a bra to hold them back, and then her dress is gone.

Macy’s long, red hair that shimmers with gold highlights from the afternoon sun streaming through the window hangs down her back, and I almost spontaneously come when she reaches up, pinches her own nipples, and says, “I told you to lay down. I’m going to fuck you.”

Yeah… not going to happen just like that.

I quickly kick my shoes off while shrugging out of my suit jacket. Pushing my pants and underwear off, I loosen my tie enough to pull it over my head and practically rip my shirt off. With a final flourish, I pull off the soft, white t-shirt I wear underneath my dress shirt and toss it away.

Then I’m as gloriously naked as Macy is, and she smirks at me. “Much better,” she says with a nod. Jerking her head to the floor, she murmurs, “On your back.”

I waste no time, dropping to the floor, stretching my legs out and holding my hand out to her. She steps forward, takes it, and swings a leg up and over until she’s standing with her feet on either side of my ribs. I give her hand a sharp squeeze, and then release it so I can lower my torso to the thick carpeting.

Macy stares down at me, but I can’t hold her gaze. My eyes go to that spot right between her legs, almost trying to will it downward toward me. Saliva pools in my mouth as she starts to lower herself. Just when her knees hit the carpeting and she’s lowering herself backward to grind against me, my hands shoot out to grab her by the thighs. Fingers sliding along her soft skin, curving to the backs, and then I’m pulling her forward sharply.

She lets out a gasp of surprise and immediately slaps her hands to my chest for balance. “What are you doing?”

“Going to eat you out if you stop pushing away,” I mutter, tugging on her legs harder.

She shakes her head, those beautiful, red waves now spilling over her shoulders and tickling her breasts. “Another time,” she says softly. “I want this first.”

And just so I have a firm idea what she means by this, she reaches back and grabs my cock, giving it a rough jerk. My hips arch upward and my hands fall away from her legs, because she said I could tongue fuck her at another time.

Another time?

Are we going to do this again?

I shake those thoughts away and instead give her a sinful smile. “By all means… show me what you got.”

A low, rumbling purr emanates from her chest… a sexy fucking sound, and she releases her hold on me. Scooting backward, she raises herself and reaches to take my cock again. As she lowers down, my hands shoot out and grip her hips, halting her progress. “Wait.”

Her eyebrows raise in surprise, eyes filled with need and frustration… and yeah, annoyance I’ve stopped her descent.

“You can’t be ready for me,” I point out with a murmur. Because, fuck… we haven’t even kissed, much less conducted any other foreplay. If she had let me eat her out, I’d have given her an orgasm that was guaranteed to make her loose and relaxed.

Macy reaches over and grabs one of my hands, pulling it forcefully until it’s right between her legs. I can feel the heat emanating from her skin, lush and inviting. “I’m ready.”

Only to test the merit of her statement, I push my fingers through her folds, finding her silky slick. She moans approval, which urges me onward, so I push two up inside of her. My balls tighten in pain when Macy’s head falls back and she groans, gyrating her hips on my fingers. She’s tight, warm, and soaking wet. I pull my fingers out and push three back inside, and Macy starts to ride them, eyes glazed with lust.

Christ… I want to watch her get herself off this way so I let her go, watching with abject amazement at the spectacle. Twisting my hand slightly, I angle my thumb over until it presses down on her clit, and she fucking explodes right then and there. Like a goddamn skyrocket on the Fourth of July. Her pussy clamps hard on my fingers, sucking them deeper, and that’s twice now I’ve watched her orgasm extremely fast. She’s so fucking responsive, I’m wondering all the ways in which I can make her come. I want to get a stopwatch out and time this phenomenon.

I expect Macy to slump forward in replete exhaustion, but she stuns me when she lifts herself off my fingers, takes my cock in hand, and pushes her pussy down onto it. She sinks determinedly on my stick, and even though I know she just came less than ten seconds ago, I can feel the stretch and pull as she tries to accommodate my size. She even winces a little, so I know there’s a sting, but then her forehead smoothes out and her lips curve into an erotic smile.

When she’s sitting flat against my pelvis, she lowers her chin and stares down at me with clear blue eyes filled with bold resolve. I swallow hard against the challenge I’m seeing and wait for her to make a move.

Instead, she brings her hands to my chest, spreads her fingers wide, and idly grazes her thumbs over my skin. Her eyes lower for a moment, but I can tell by the set to her jawline that she’s contemplating something.

When she looks back up at me, she says, “We’re having unprotected sex.”

I jerk slightly, which causes my cock to jump inside of her, which in turn causes her pussy to clamp against me in reflex. I stifle the groan that wants to come out and instead, I mutter with teeth clenched, “A little late to be worried about that, don’t you think?”

“I was never worried,” she says confidently as her eyes rise up to mine. “I trust that you wouldn’t do something to hurt me.”

I want to say those words back to her, but how can I?

I don’t know much about her at all, but she doesn’t keep me wondering. Her voice is so soft… almost shy when she says, “You’re only the second man I’ve ever been with that didn’t wear a condom.”

“Who was the first?” I ask, amazed that we are sitting here carrying on a conversation while my cock is stuffed deep inside of her.

She gives a small shake of her head, and there’s no mistaking the cold distance in her eyes. “It was years ago, so it doesn’t matter.”

By that look… by the frost in her gaze and the flatness to her voice, I can tell it absolutely does matter, but I don’t press her. It’s enough for me to know that she’s clean.

“Are you on the Pill?” I ask, because it almost seems more perilous to think about getting Macy pregnant than catching something from her.

She answers me by raising her hips up and pushing back down on me not so gently. Pleasure skitters up my spine by the unexpected move and as she lifts up again, she murmurs, “I can’t get pregnant, so we’re good.”

And that… in her voice… that is unmistakable sadness I’m hearing.

She writhes above me, pumping my cock with fluid movements of her body. I want to stop her… ask her why she can’t get pregnant, but every time she slides down my shaft, my mind seems to go dull and fuzzy.

Until I’m starting to drown in a pool of lust and driving need for release.

Normally, when a woman rides me, it starts great but then my assistance is needed because they inevitably start to tire. That doesn’t seem to be the case with Macy, whose strong legs have no trouble supporting her movements as they get faster. Just when I think I might need to start thrusting upward to help chase an orgasm, she goes a little harder… drives me up into her a little deeper.

I watch her tits swaying, her eyes glazing over because she’s as lost as I am. She bounces up and down on my dick, rotating her hips, which causes her pussy to massage my cock like it’s never been handled before, and all I can do is squeeze my fingers down into her thighs while she gives me the fucking of a lifetime.

Chest heaving, sweat rolling down my temple, my balls drawn in tight and hard like big marbles, with one particularly brutal thrust down onto me, my hips jerk up off the floor as I start to come.

“Oh God,” I groan deeply and, I realize, a little loudly, but I’m too far gone to care if anyone hears. Macy grinds down against me, gyrating and milking me while I continue to spurt inside of her.

She grinds and grinds and grinds against me until I’m empty, and then continues to grind because my cock is still hard enough. I shove my hand between her legs and rub against her. She squeezes her eyes shut, groaning. I watch in fascination as I quickly bring her to another orgasm while she uses my now-spent cock.

Goddamn… this woman is unbelievable.

The most sensual and erotic creature I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

She makes every porn movie I’ve ever watched seem dull and lifeless.

She makes every fuck I’ve ever had before her seem trite.

She makes me wonder if I will ever view sex the same way again.

Chapter 2

Macy lifts herself up and I slip out of her, my softening dick happy and shiny as it comes to rest on my belly. Gracefully, she stands up and practically glides over to my pile of discarded clothing. Taking my t-shirt, she wipes my semen that’s trickling down the insides of her thighs and I’m mesmerized as I watch her, because even that’s sexy to me.

I lean my upper body up, holding myself up by my elbows, and watch as she tucks my cum-stained t-shirt in her purse.

Souvenir?

Or proof of our clandestine encounter à la Monica Lewinsky style?

“I’ll wash that for you,” she says quietly.

Rolling to my side, I push myself up from the carpet and start to put my clothes back on. Macy does the same thing, which is simply a matter of her pulling her dress over her head and smoothing it down her body. She rakes her fingers through her hair and voila… she looks as stunning as ever.

She still bears the telltale red, orgasmic flush on her neck, so she also looks freshly fucked, which makes her even more beautiful in my mind.

“So where do we go from here?” Macy asks casually as she walks back over to sit in the chair by my desk.

I tweak the last button on my shirt and pull the loop of my tie over my head, fitting it underneath my collar. As I tighten the knot up to my neck, I tell her, “I have to get admitted to Utah, and we’ll need to file an Answer to the Complaint. I’ll do a background check on this Brian Merrill and his wife, and I’ll reach out to their attorney to see what they really want. Maybe a quick settlement will make this go away.”

“No,” Macy says quietly. “I mean… where do we go from here?”

My head snaps her way, and I study her face carefully. Her eyes are wide and brutally challenging, chin tilted upward. She holds my stare without blinking.

“What do you mean ‘where do we go from here’?” I throw back to her.

“I want us to keep fucking,” she says simply.

Snorting, I pick up my jacket and shrug it on. Shaking my head slightly in bemusement, I walk back toward my desk. “Are you always that blunt?”

Macy gives me a sweet smile. “Would you rather I sugarcoat it with coy looks and vague innuendo?”

“No,” I answer her truthfully as I lean back in my chair to appraise her. “I appreciate honest talk. But we can’t keep fucking.”

She blinks in surprise. “Why not?”

“Because I’m going to be representing you in this lawsuit. It would be unethical for me to have sex with you at the same time.”

Snickering, Macy tilts her head and shoots me a condescending look. “Saint Cal.”

“Mock me all you want,” I grit out. “But my law license is too important. And while you are the most fantastic of fucks, Macy… you’re not so phenomenal I’ll risk my career for you.”

I expect her to be offended, but instead, she laughs. Those beautiful, full lips peel back and white, sparkling teeth dazzle me as she chuckles. “I’ll have to admit, as far as excuses go for turning me down, that’s actually a legitimate one. And while I know I’m pretty much made of awesome in the sex department, I agree… you can’t do something that would put you at risk.”

Now I’m the one that blinks in surprise at Macy because I didn’t think she had an empathetic or selfless bone in her body. I sort of expected her to selfishly demand I continue to service her with my awesome cock while bearing all the risk.

“Let me ask you something,” she says while crossing one leg over the other. It makes my dick start to twitch because it’s too reminiscent of those same exact actions that inflamed me not so long ago. “If this case wasn’t an issue, and you weren’t representing me, would you keep seeing me?”

Hmmm. Now that’s a damn good question.

Twenty minutes ago, I’m pretty sure the answer would have been a resounding “no” because I had reasoned in my mind that just one more round of casual sex would be okay.

Would be safe.

But see… the problem now is that Macy has inched her way under my skin. She harbors secrets and sadness that bring out the inner knight in me. I want to expose them and figure out what makes her tick. And she clearly wants something from me, and it’s because this is different between us.

The question is… can I continue fucking her without letting my heart get tied up?

Can I investigate the mystery of Macy Carrington, all while receiving the benefit of some amazing sex, and keep myself protected? Particularly when I know her heart would never get tied up?

I have no clue, but I’ve always been a bit of a gambler. “It’s a moot point,” I say casually. “But yeah… I’d want to fuck you again if this case wasn’t an issue.”

“Good,” she says primly as she stands up from her chair and shoulders her purse. “I’ll get another attorney. Let’s get together tonight, and then… well, you can do whatever you want to me.”

My cock likes the sound of that a lot and immediately starts to thicken at the prospect. But I’m standing from my chair and walking toward her, denying this ludicrous idea. “What the hell, Macy? You can’t get another attorney. You need me on this.”

She turns and gives me a quick smile. “No, I don’t. Any attorney will do, and I’d rather we kept screwing each other.”

I don’t fail to notice her choice of wording. Not “dating” but “screwing” each other.

My hand reaches out and I thread my fingers through hers, pulling her to me. “I don’t understand what’s going on here.”

“What’s to understand?” she asks as she steps in closer to me. Her free hand comes up and fingers the edge of my collar. “You and I are attracted to each other. We have amazing chemistry. I want to experience it over and over again until it runs dry. I don’t want to waste time and I want you now, so I’ll get another attorney. It’s as simple as that.”

Shaking my head, I murmur, “It’s not as simple as that. You don’t do relationships, so what exactly would this be?”

“You’re right, I don’t do relationships,” she says while wrinkling up her nose. It’s adorable and makes me want to kiss it. “This is just sex. Casual and hopefully frequent sex. We get our rocks off. Nothing more.”

I release her hand and step back from her, scraping my fingers through my hair while my mind whirls.

Casual sex on a constant basis with her?

This has me extremely curious now.

“Would you be monogamous?” I ask skeptically, knowing she’ll probably wrinkle her nose up in distaste again over that word.

Instead, she surprises me with an affirmatively quick nod of her head. “Of course. As I know you would be.”

Damn… she has so much more faith in me than I have in her, and that makes me feel a little guilty. Still, this is Macy we’re talking about, a woman who notoriously jumps beds as frequently as fleas jump dogs.

“What would we tell Mac?” I ask her, because this is frankly my biggest worry. “She’ll want to know why I’m not representing you. She’ll think this is my fault because I was against doing this at the start.”

A small flicker of pain sparks in Macy’s eyes, but she shakes it off. “I don’t want Mac to know about us.”

“I can’t keep something like this from her. We’re partners. We’re always honest with each other. And besides, she’s your best friend. Why wouldn’t you want her to know?”

Macy’s eyes go warm and fill with undeniable love. The effect is so transformative on her face that it actually steals my breath away. Macy Carrington is lovely as is. When she’s riding my cock, she’s stunning. But when you can see love on her face, she is beyond description.

“Mac is my best friend,” she says with a soft smile on her face. “I’m closer to her than any other being on this planet. She knows things about me that I wish she didn’t because I don’t like the burden they put on her. But in this instance, I want to keep this just for myself. It’s new for me, and I want to make my decisions about this without any outside influence or guidance. And trust me… Mac will have tons of advice to give me if she were to find out.”

And again… another small clue is revealed to me.

Mac knows things about Macy that are so dark, they’re an actual burden to carry.

“So let me get this straight,” I say as I step in closer to Macy, wrap my hand around the side of her neck, and stroke her jaw with my thumb. “You want to keep a sex-only relationship going with me, we’ll both be monogamous, and no one can know. Is that the gist of it?”

She nods, her blue eyes clear in their acceptance. But then, she amends, “Until either one of us gets tired of the other.”

Yeah, I cannot ever imagine me getting tired of having sex with Macy. I’m already addicted to it, and I’ve only had a few hits. She has the magical ability to suck me in deep to where I may never be able to claw my way out.

But I do believe there will come a time when Macy will want out of whatever the hell this is between us. She’s a self-admitted commitment phobe. She’s always looking for the next sexual rush, and while there is no denying what flashes hot between us is unique and probably without replication, I’m going to eventually drive her away.

Because I’ll want more from her than she’s willing to give.

This has disaster written all over it but rather than tell her these feelings, I decide to opt out in a more cowardly way.

I release my hold on her and step back, shoving my hands in my pockets. “I’m sorry, Macy. This can’t happen while I’m representing you, and you need me to represent you. While you are tempting beyond imagination, I can’t compromise my legal ethics.”

Macy lowers her gaze to the floor and nibbles on her lower lip. I feel like I may have hurt her feelings and while my nature and inclination is to pull her into my arms and hug her, I keep remarkably still and detached. If I touch her again, I will definitely compromise my own morals.

When she looks back up at me, that beautiful lip pops free. She crosses her arms over her chest and tilts her head to the side with a shrewd look. “How long is this case going to last?”

Pulling one hand out of my pocket, I rub the back of my neck before giving a slight shrug. “If it goes all the way, months. But if we play hardball, or offer a quick settlement with a confidentiality clause, weeks perhaps.”

Macy then smiles at me. It’s bright and sunny, her blue eyes sparkling. She gives me a wink and turns away. “I can do weeks,” she says over her shoulder. “Not months, mind you. But weeks.”

As she reaches her hand out for the door, I blurt out. “What are you saying?”

She turns her body slightly to look at me. “I’m saying I want you. And you want me. I’ll wait for a bit if you will. Until we can see if this case can be resolved.”

I can’t help when one eyebrow rises in skepticism. “And what will you be doing in that interim?”

Macy gives a husky laugh, turns all the way around from the door, and walks back up to me. Placing her hand on my chest, she gently strokes me through my shirt, and because I’m not wearing my t-shirt underneath, I can feel the heat of her pulsing through.

“I expect I’ll be giving my vibrator a good work out,” she says in a low murmur. “I might even rename it Saint Cal.”

“What do you call it now?”

“Thor,” she says matter-of-factly, and as if that was the most stupid question in the world.

My lips curve upward in amusement and I reach up a hand to tug on one of her golden-red locks that hangs artfully over her shoulder. “You’re going to be celibate while you wait for this case to finish?”

“For some weeks,” she clarifies and gives me a soft smile. “I sort of get you’re the type of man that would need that type of commitment.”

“I thought you didn’t do commitment?”

She gives a careless shrug. “I’m trying something new.”

“And you want the same from me?”

Macy steps in closer and lightly presses her body into me. I find I like it. No… love it. Her soft curves naturally fit to me, and while I’m definitely turned on by it, I also find that it just seems… right?

“Cal,” she says with confidence. “I don’t have to ask that of you. I just know you’re the loyal type.”

Guilt races through my veins as I think about how disloyal I was to Matt, but I push that away. That’s not who I truly am at my core.

It’s not, I remind myself again.

I look down at her, her blue eyes earnestly filled with conviction. She’s a mystery, but fuck… for some reason, I trust her right now.

“So I’ll represent you, we’ll keep our hands off each other while your case is in progress, and we’ll both be celibate?” I ask, just to make sure there’s no miscommunication between us.

“And when the case is over, we will put ourselves in orgasm comas with each other,” she says impishly.

“The plan has merit,” I muse thoughtfully, and that causes Macy to throw her head back and laugh.

And Christ… she’s got a beautiful laugh.

Why have I never noticed it before?

“Before I officially become your attorney, and we take mutual vows of celibacy, there’s something I think we forgot to do in the chronology of events that unfolded within this office today,” I say as my eyes flicker across her face. I take in the soft swell of her cheekbones, the long lashes that make her eyes pop, and the sweetly sinful lips that have spent more time on my dick than on my mouth.

“What’s that?”

I answer her with a kiss.

Soft at first, and then deeper.

She arches into me.

Moans.

Digs her fingers into my chest.

Yeah, that’s the stuff that’s been missing. As much as I like getting down and dirty, I’m a man that likes intimacy. And there’s no communion greater than when lips and tongue come together in a sweet, sensuous slide against one another.

As I pull away, I revel in the fogginess of Macy’s eyes… knowing that my kiss did that to her.

And at this moment, even though this plan with Macy seems ludicrous, I know I’m doing the right thing.

Chapter 3

From the Diary of Macy Carrington:

Dear Diary:

It happened again.

I was with Cal, and the experience was transcendental. I came twice… really hard, really fast. I was a fucking natural at it. Like I had been doing it all my life.

I wanted to stay in his office all day and have him make me come over and over again.

It was freeing.

Felt so good.

I’ll never get used to it.

Unfortunately, because Cal is representing me in this case, his ethics prohibit him from continuing to see me.

Well, fuck me.

Whatever.

The point is that I had to make a choice. Did I want to continue on, spinning my wheels and getting short fixes to numb me up? Or did I want to take a chance that perhaps there is a person that can completely free me from my prison?

I want to take the chance with Cal. I’m sure this amounts to nothing more than just really good sex, but I had to give him something he needed. I had to give him the promise of a commitment that I would remain celibate until this case was finished. That I would “wait” for him.

I think I can do it.

I think it will be worth it.

Love,

Macy

Chapter 4

Before I can get my napkin unfolded and placed on my lap, Mac is milking me for information. “So how did it go with Macy this morning?”

Apparently, Macy hadn’t stopped in to see Mac after her appointment with me. I’m thinking she probably wanted to avoid Mac because she smelled like me. This caused Mac to be concerned and suspicious, because Macy shares everything with Mac, and I know she expected her to come in and tell her all about our legal strategy. I know this because Mac immediately buzzed my office and wanted to talk about it. Unfortunately, I was in the middle of some deep and heavy legal research and put her off until lunch.

It’s not that I couldn’t have put the research aside to make time for Mac.

It’s that I didn’t want to. I needed some more time to get the lies straight in my head, should Mac have any inkling as to what’s going on with Macy and me. So I put her off until lunch, and now it’s time to pay the piper.

“It went fine,” I tell her, and then quickly take a sip of ice water, hoping it cools the lie that just fell off my tongue. “Honestly, I don’t think there’s much of a case against her.”

“Is it going to be weird for you to represent her?” Mac asks with a sudden burst of concern for me. I’m wondering where this was when she first asked me to represent Macy.

Shaking my head, I play it off. “Nah… I mean… we’re friends, so it’s not weird.”

“You and Macy are not friends,” Mac says with a snort.

I wince.

I’m so not good at this lying shit.

Nope. Not friends. That’s for sure.

We’re more… fuck buddies.

Yeah, that’s it.

But we’re not fucking right at this very moment so that makes my dishonesty just a tad bit more palatable.

“I mean because you and I are friends,” I say to throw her off the trail.

Mac ignores that comment but shakes her head, her brow furrowed with worry. “It was really weird she didn’t stop in to see me after your meeting today. There’s something going on with her, and I can’t figure out what it is. She’s hiding something, but I’m going to find out what it is.”

Oh, that’s just fucking great because there’s no doubt in my mind that Mac will eventually get to the truth. She’s tenacious that way. Like a dog with a meaty bone. She won’t give up until she’s flayed open mine and Macy’s secret and exposed it for all to see.

It’s on the tip of my tongue to just go ahead and spill the beans to her, but then I remember what Macy told me earlier. She told me that Mac knew dark and burdensome secrets about her. That means Macy isn’t afraid to share. If she isn’t telling Mac, she must think it will be something that will cause her friend angst. Probably because she would be pitted right in the middle of two of her closest friends if this went south.

And let’s face it.

It’s going to go south at some point.

Because even though we really don’t have anything going right this moment, we will eventually. And it will be great… for a while. But Macy is going to get tired of monogamy and will want to get back to her spice of life—bed hopping. I’m sure of it.

“You’re awfully quiet,” Mac says, and then immediately narrows her eyes. “Did something happen between you and Macy?”

Bile rises in my throat as I temper her curiosity with another well-placed lie. “No, not at all. She was well prepared for the meeting and gave me some great info to get started.”

“And she wasn’t acting weird when you saw her?” she asks with a worried voice. “I just feel like she’s hiding something from me.”

And that right there presents the perfect opportunity for me to try to figure out more about this cryptic and enigmatic woman.

“Does Macy tell you all her secrets?” I ask in a mischievous, not nosy at all, way.

Mac gives me a coy smile. “Yup. I know everything about my bestie.”

I lean across the table and give her a salacious grin. “Like what? Spill something juicy to me.”

Mac snorts and says, “No way, buddy. I’ll take that girl’s secrets to the grave.”

“Must be something really scandalous,” I press her with a secretive whisper.

A little bit of sadness creeps into Mac’s smile, and she shakes her head. “No, not scandalous. But worthy of a secret all the same.”

My heart clenches slightly because I can absolutely see the burden that Mac is indeed carrying with this knowledge… whatever it is. Macy wasn’t lying to me over the remorse she felt for putting it on Mac’s shoulders.

And now that I know Mac is probably suffering under the same weight as Macy, it’s becoming almost imperative for me to know more.

So I continue to poke.

“Macy did tell me that her parents wouldn’t help her with this lawsuit,” I say absently as I glance over the menu. I try to sound disinterested, and it seems to work.

Mac’s tone gets a little frosty. “Not just wouldn’t, but couldn’t help her.”

“What do you mean by that?” I ask as I close the menu and lay it before me on the table.

“Macy and her parents don’t have a normal relationship. They know nothing about her, so there’s no way they could even attest to her character.”

“How can parents not know anything about their child?”

Mac snorts but before she can answer me, the waiter comes up to take our order. Mac goes for the lobster roll, and I opt for grilled chicken. Once he’s gone, I look at her in question.

With a sigh, Mac says, “They don’t know their child because she was raised by a nanny. When she got older, she was off to boarding school. They didn’t even have her come home for the holidays. Macy moved straight from her dorm after graduating high school to the dorm at Columbia where we became roommates.”

What the fuck?

“Does she have any relationship with them at all?” I ask, astounded by this glacially cold picture that Mac is painting for me. I guess I always sort of assumed Macy was showered with as much love as she was with riches growing up. I assumed that’s sort of what made her such an independent woman… amazing self-esteem and all that could only come from a healthy, loving childhood.

“Not really,” Macy says as she grabs a roll from the breadbasket. “She’ll meet them periodically, at their request, of course. And it’s just for show. Their show, I mean. But otherwise, she really doesn’t want much to do with them, and I can’t say as I blame her.”

Aha.

Now there… I can hear the disdain and loathing for these people in Mac’s voice. They are at the center of Macy’s deep secret.

I try to conjure up everything I know about Macy’s parents. I’ve never met them before, but I do happen to know something about the Carringtons.

Her father, Travis, is wealthy beyond sin. He’s the president, chairman, and CEO of Quarter Mine, Inc, one of the largest holding companies in the world, but also claims the title of largest in the United States. Quarter Mine holds majority shares in many Fortune 500 companies, including the nation’s largest insurance company. I believe I read recently that his net worth is around $62 billion.

Yes, billion.

Travis Carrington is frequently in the news along with his socialite wife, Patricia. They rub elbows with the president, are constantly praised for their philanthropic work, and I think I even read they travel to Latin America every year to administer relief to the poor.

But even I’m jaundiced enough to believe that’s probably a fucking publicity stunt.

I also happen to know that Macy graduated from Columbia along with Mac, earning a degree in political science. I only know this because she and I got into an argument one night at a party Mac and Matt threw, and she tried to slap me upside the head with her degree.

I sneered at her condescendingly and told her that her degree didn’t mean shit.

At least, I think those were my exact words.

At any rate, the only other thing I know is that Macy has a trust fund she lives off and that she hasn’t worked at a real job in her entire life. I know this because Mac told me just the other day when I brought her the trust assignment Macy wanted after I reviewed it.

It was a well-drafted legal writing, and I had only a few changes. But it did peak my curiosity, so I asked Mac a little bit more about the situation. She told me that Macy volunteers almost full time at a place called The Faith Mission and has been doing so since she graduated from college.

“What’s The Faith Mission?” I had asked.

“It’s a nonprofit that provides a variety of services for people. They have a homeless shelter, drug outreach programs, halfway houses, domestic abuse shelters, etc., and it’s all faith based. Macy works with women trying to transition into the workforce.”

“I don’t understand what that means,” I said honestly.

Mac gave me a patient smile before enlightening me. “Say, for example, a woman leaves her abusive husband but she has no high school diploma and no work experience. Virtually unemployable. Macy works to get her education and experience through her contacts all around the city. Another example… she helps women just getting out of prison and trying to get a job. Sometimes, it’s something as simple as taking them out shopping for work attire.”

And with just a simple utterance, Mac managed to completely skew my perception of Macy Carrington.

Which brings me back to the present and my efforts to learn more about my new future fuck buddy.

“But still…” I focus back on Macy’s parents. “I’m sure this lawsuit is an embarrassment to them. Why wouldn’t they step in and help?”

I almost have the urge to rear back from the table by the hateful look that comes over Mac’s face. She speaks with such loathing that my skin prickles. “Her parents would rather push Macy under the carpet and ignore her. They have a habit of ignoring things that they don’t like or agree with.”

A feeling… that I’m guessing may be nausea… wells up inside of me. Without needing to know another further detail, I’m convinced something bad has happened to Macy in the past and her parents turned their backs on her in her time of need.

And suddenly… I’m not so curious anymore.

I’m not sure I really want to know anything else about Macy and the secrets she harbors, because I’m the type of man that takes things like that personally, particularly if it’s someone I care about. And while I’m not sure I care much more about Macy other than trying to get inside her pants, I’m not stupid enough to think that feelings won’t get involved at some point. Which means care will come into the picture.

Deciding to leave Macy’s secrets alone for now, I say, “Well, it sounds like to me her parents are assholes. She seems better off without them.”

“Wait a minute,” Mac exclaims. “What the hell is going on here?”

I blink at her in surprise, trying to school my features so no guilt starts seeping out. “What do you mean?”

“We’ve sat here for fifteen minutes talking about Macy and you’ve yet to say one caustic thing about her. That in and of itself is very strange to me, but now you’re actually sticking up for her?”

I try for an affable laugh and hope it sounds genuine. “Maybe I’ve decided that Macy isn’t as bad as I once thought.”

Mac cocks a beautiful eyebrow at me. She just waits for me to let her in on the joke.

“I’m serious,” I maintain to her. “After you told me about her volunteer work… I don’t know… I’m just giving her a little bit more credit than I did before.”

Mac’s suspicious eyes round out again, and she gets a sappy smile on her face. I reach for my water and take a sip… needing something to parch the lies that have been blazing hell as they fall out of my mouth.

“That’s sweet,” Mac says all syrupy-like. “You know… I always thought that you and Macy would make a good couple, but you two could never seem to stop hurling insults at each other long enough to get to know one another.”

I inhale sharply, taking about a tablespoon of water down into my lungs, and then immediately start choking. As I cough and wheeze, trying to expel the water and suck back down precious oxygen, Mac looks at me with worry.

Finally, I’m able to get myself under control and wipe my mouth with my napkin.

“Are you okay?” she asks cautiously.

“Yeah,” I mutter and give another slight cough. “Just drank a little too fast, is all.”

She nods and shrugs her shoulders. “At any rate, maybe you should ask Macy out or something.”

“Mac,” I say with a warning tone, because this conversation is headed for disaster. “Don’t even go there, okay?”

“Fine,” she snaps at me.

I continue to stare at her, conveying in my look that this is a subject that she truly needs to leave alone. Because if she continues with it, my lies are going to be exposed quicker than I’d like.

“I said fine,” she grumbles. “You’ll never hear me say another word about you and Macy again.”

I give her a grateful smile, but I know that Mac just uttered a lie of her own, but she just doesn’t know it yet. Because when she finds out about Macy and me, she’s going to have plenty to say about it.

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