Chapter 1
Chapter 1 The dark elf in my doorway was lucky to be alive. The last thing in the universe I needed after the hellish nightmare I had endured in Faerie was a ransom note from the dark elves. They wanted me to marry the prince and so far, I had not shown interest, politely declined, and adamantly refused. Delron, the dark elf in front of me, had practically begged me to visit the unseleighe court, just to hear the queen's offer. They decided to up their game and demand that I come by holding my elven bodyguard hostage until I agreed. My temper flared, as did my magic. Tendrils of magic flared out, aiming for the dark elf, and crackling in eldritch fire. Unfortunately, I couldn't kill him, yet. He had a message to deliver and I barely got them extinguished as they wrapped around Delron's skinny little elven neck. Coming into my house, threatening me with the life of my friend, was not the way to get me to do what you wanted. Ever. Just ask Chief. I backed him against my front door and snarled in his face. Whatever the hell Dar had done to me in Faerie was trying to resurface. My teeth screamed in agony as my metaphysical fangs begged to rip open the soft flesh of his throat. He saw his death in my eyes. "Tell you what, Delron… How about you bring Jaeren back and I won't pay a visit to your court under these circumstances. Ask King Renlynn how pissing me off worked out for him. Oh wait, you can't. Because I fucking ate him." His eyes widened in fear and he began choking, patting my arms and begging for breath. I let him go, not realizing, in my anger, I had lifted him from the ground. Even I gasped a little in shock. "Please," he managed to choke out as he gasped for breath, rubbing his tender flesh. "All we wish…is for you…to hear us out." "Kidnapping my friend wasn't a smart thing to do." "I see that. We needed a bargaining chip." "A life isn't something to be bargained with." "You would not come…" "You're right. But that option would be much better than me visiting and raining down destruction, the likes of which you have never seen. Do you understand? Bring Jaeren back." I enunciated each word slowly. "If you do, I will visit. If I have to come get him, I will fuck your shit up six ways to Sunday. Do you understand?" "Yes, my Lady." "Go." I resisted the urge to kick his ass as he got up and ran out the door. Turning around, I nearly slipped and fell on the coffee and shattered mug I had dropped to threaten the dark elf at my door. "I will clean it up," Candace said with a little squeak and ran for the broom and mop. "Do you think he'll do it?" Yuki asked thoughtfully, standing next to Dar, Shea, and Jimmy. "Did you see the look on his face? I bet the elf is back here within the day." Jimmy chuckled. "He better be," I said and headed for the coffee maker. It had been a hell of a few days for me and my coffee reserves were dangerously low. I had just set the mug into the machine when my front door burst open. Again. "Hi, Chief," I called out from the kitchen without having to see who it was. Everyone else knocked. He barged in like Josie in a candy shop. He slid to a stop when he saw me, staring intently at my brewing coffee. "Are you okay?" I nodded, not looking up. "Oh. Okay, then." The machine stopped, and I reached down and picked up the mug, taking a sip before turning to him. "Sorry. Just had another visitor." "The elf I saw running out of here? Want me to go shoot him for you?" It was sweet of him to offer, but I knew it was his attempt at a joke. Chief didn't shoot people. It was a serious character flaw. "No. He has to bring Jaeren back." "What the hell is going on?" I opened my mouth to start talking but then I froze. Completely. I couldn't relive everything right now. Not this soon. I just couldn't. You wish me to tell the tale? Dar's soothing voice wrapped around my tired sorrow like a warm blanket. Would you? I just can't right now. I need another shower. And my bed. It would be my honor. Might I borrow some clothes? Sure. I think I have a dress or two in your size. You wish to make jokes? He nosed me in the nether regions. Sweatpants and hoodie it is. I laughed until I noticed Chief staring at the both of us. "Sorry. Dar is going to fill everybody in while I have another shower and a nap. It's been a shitty couple of days and the dark elves just kidnapped Jaeren." "Seriously?" "As a heart attack." He did the absolutely worst thing he could have possibly done. He wrapped me in his arms and kissed the top of my head. I lost it, completely breaking down and turning into a sobbing mess. Everything that had happened, the pain, the suffering, the loss, came crashing down on me like a…building. He just held me until I got it out. All over his shirt. There might have even been a rainbow or two as I pulled away and the sunlight reflected off my snot and tears. "Sorry." "Gonna change my name to Hanker Chief." Not going to lie, there might have been a snot bubble blown, but it was his fault for being all sweet and cute, and making me laugh. "Thanks." "That was kinda gross. Go have your shower." "Thanks. Come on, Dar. Let's get you some clothes." He followed me into my bedroom and waited patiently as I rooted through my drawers for pants, pulling out the largest, most stretchy pair I could find. Dar, in his demon form, wasn't gigantic, but still a lot larger than I was. We needed to take a trip to the mall to get him his own clothes. "Here, these should fit," I said and held them out to him. He morphed in front of my eyes into his new elven form. A form that was more-than-a-little-bit attractive when butt-assed naked. I pulled the pants back. "What?" "No." "No, what?" "You. I want to see you." He breathed out a sigh. "This form is as just as much me as my natural form." "But, you're my blue demon. And while you are very attractive in this form… I'm kinda on a 'I hate elves' kick right now." "Oh." "Plus, I want everybody to start getting used to seeing you in your normal form. There's no reason for you to be a dog all the time." "It is rather limiting," he said and shifted again. He was attractive in his elf form, but in his demon form… Holy shiznit. I'd always found him handsome, even with the horns. Something felt different. My body started visibly shaking as I fought the urge to reach out and touch him. All over. Even low. Especially low. "Master?" He could have called me Dot, Lady, or even Late-for-breakfast. Hearing him call me Master sent a shiver racing down my back that went for the reach-around. "Dar…" "I know you wish me to call you by your given name," he said with a soft sigh and stepped forward, reaching for the pants clutched against my chest. I stepped back, wide-eyed. "Are you teasing me now?" Another step forward, and another step back from me, completely involuntary. My throat clenched as the fear of what would happen if he got too close hit me like a sledgehammer. In the groin. He thought I was teasing him. I was protecting him. What really scared me was the utter lack of guilt. I wanted him and there was nothing to stop me from taking him but me. It wasn't because I was worried about the repercussions, I was afraid of hurting him. He lurched forward with a smile on his face, his clawed hand encircling the soft fabric in my hands. As soon as mine had nothing to hold, they shot out and grabbed his horns. He was in my grasp and I launched myself at him, landing atop of him as we crashed onto the bed, and pressed my teeth against his throat. "Master…" I couldn't see his eyes roll into his head, but I knew they had. I could feel the ecstasy running through him. "You have kept the hearth fires warm, my beloved. I claim my prize." The words flowed through me, straight from somewhere inside me, someplace containing the beast. "Master… Do not do this. You would never forgive me." I shook my head and sat up, staring down at the horrified demon beneath me. "What the hell is happening to me?" "This cannot be." "What, Dar? What can't be?" "You are not D'lakii." "A who?" "What I am." "So? I'm not horny and blue. Scratch that. I'm not blue. What does that have to do with why I'm hanging on to you like I can't let go?" I felt him move beneath me. "Could you, um…get up?" "Shit." I put my feet on the floor on either side of him, and lifted myself, offering him a hand. Surprisingly, he took it, pulling himself up to his feet and letting go quickly. He practically jumped into the sweatpants, covering himself and backing away. It is the fourth rite. "The thing you did in Faerie to give me some courage?" Yes. Dar. What did you do to me? It is like... It's not like, it is. Is what? I told you. A chance to mate. This isn't a chance, Dar. It's a driving fucking need. Well…you won. What's the part about not being Dovahkiin? D'lakii. Demon Lord. I sat down on the bed. "Yeah. That." There was a firm knock on the door. "Everything okay in there?" Chief's voice was only slightly muffled by the door. "Peachy keen. Not feeling that well. Dar was just explaining why." "Does it have anything to do with your vampire trying to make out with Candace?" "What?" I walked over and flung open the door. "Oh, no," Dar said softly behind me. I charged into the living room. Josie was staring aghast at Yuki crouched over Candace, lips firmly pressed against hers. Candace was staring at me imploringly and shooting nervous glances at Josie, who didn't know what to do. "Yuki!" She ignored me. "Yukina Abernathy, I command you to obey me. Stop this, now!" My voice echoed with thunder. Literally. My sliding glass door instantly developed a hairline crack through it, and every dish in the kitchen either shattered or rattled. Everybody crouched low and held their hands over their ears and Yuki's back went rigid as she pulled away. "Master?" My name came out as a whimper from her throat. "What are you doing?" I tried to keep the anger out of my voice. I knew whatever was happening to her, it was more than likely my fault. Or at least Dar's. "I don't know." She scrambled away from Candace and put her back to the short wall with the kitchen counter above it, hugging her legs and rocking in shock. "Candace, are you okay?" "Yes, Lady." "Josie?" "Why was your vampire kissing my fiancée?" "Because of me. I'm not feeling well and it's spilling over on my… Wait. Hold the fuck up. Did you just say fiancée?" "Uh. No." "Yes," Candace said with a grin. "Oh, my goddess! Congratulations!" I ran over to the both of them and scooped them up in a hug, momentarily forgetting about the sweet-toothed vampire practically crying behind me. "Dot?" "Yes, Josie?" "While I appreciate the sentiment, you are changing the subject as to why fang-face was suckling my girl's lips." "My fault. Let it go. Won't happen again." I turned to Yuki. "You are forbidden from kissing Candace ever again." She nodded emphatically, not seeming too happy to have been doing it in the first place. "Josie, too." Yuki's shocked look turned to one of disgust. Her lip even curled. "What's wrong with me?" Josie stared open mouthed at the vampire, hand on her hip. "We're getting off topic here. Yuki, bedroom, now." "Yes, Master," she said and took off, her movements too fast to follow. "Seriously, you two. Congrats. I couldn't be happier." Candace beamed and was still staring after Yuki. Josie wasn't beaming. She was shooting daggers at Yuki. "Seriously? What is wrong with me? Did you see her lip curl like she was about to hurl?" "Josie. Let it go." She turned and stared at me. "You'd kiss me if you were gay, right?" "No way. Not until you get that lip fungus taken care of." I turned and walked into the bedroom. Jimmy, Shea, and Chief followed me in. I thought about making them wait outside, but I really didn't want to be in the room alone with Dar and Yuki. It would seem Yuki and I were having difficulty controlling ourselves and it might take the three of them to spell us off Dar. Jimmy shut the door behind us. "Okay. What the hell is going on?" Chief put his hands on his hips and looked directly at me. I pointed at Dar. "Blame him. He did some demon mojo on me while we were Underhill. In fact, I am going to relax and get comfortable on the bed while he explains to you all what happened. From the beginning," I added and stared at Dar when I said it. "As you wish." I walked over to the bed, fluffed my pillows, and sat back. Yuki curled up next to me, almost shaking she was so disgusted with herself. "Thought you were asexual and that you didn't like girls," I couldn't help but tease. "I am and I don't! At least I didn't think I did. But damnit, she was standing in front of me, the sunlight came in through a crack in the drapes and her lips were so shiny…" "I'm teasing, Yuki. It totally wasn't your fault." "Maybe I am gay?" "Were you checking out my ass in the shower?" "Yes. But in my defense, you have a very nice ass." "Thanky." I patted her head. Dar sighed again, now that our conversation was over, he hopped up on my dresser, ready to begin our tale of adventure and mishap in the land of elves. I'd already lived it, so I closed my eyes and let the sound of Dar's voice lull me to sleep. It really was comforting, even more so than his mental voice.
Chapter 2
Chapter 2 When I woke up, there was nobody standing around me listening to Dar's story. The lights were off, and moonlight filtered through my bedroom window, illuminating Yuki in a glowing aura as it reflected off her pale skin. I guess I was more tired than I thought. Dar, you still up? Yes, Master. Where is everybody? Gone for the night. They bade me let you rest. I have smart fellers. For the most part, yes. Do I detect a hint of jealousy in that statement? Nay. Uh huh. Where are you? Lying on the couch. Come here. Is it safe? Depends. How many legs do you have right now? Four. You are safe. He nosed my door open, and slinked into the room, jumping on the bed and laying his head across my ankles. "So how did the conversation go?" They had not realized all you had been through. Even Shea, who was there for some of it, was aghast as I explained the events that followed the ambush. "You didn't tell them I blew my hands off in stupidity?" Should I not have? "If they start calling me stumpy, you're grounded." They would not. They were saddened by the pain you endured. Josie and Candace came in and listened to your tale, as well. Had the vampire not been by your side, she would have joined you. She shed many tears for you. I sighed. Candace shedding tears over me was not a favorite pastime of mine. Yet, it seemed to happen with a great amount of frequency. I really needed a vacation. Someplace tropical. With daiquiris and cabana boys. "And what did they say about the Fourth Rite?" Little. Although, your friend James, did develop an extraneous glint in his eye. "He would." I suggest you ask them their thoughts on the matter, later. When I am not around. "That might be a good idea." The doorbell rang. "Who is that at this hour?" It is not as late as you think. Josie and her friend just retired. He paused and tilted his head, listening. I believe it is the youngest of your lovers. Jason? Yes. I slid out of the bed, trying hard not to wake Yuki. She'd been through enough over the past week and the events of earlier didn't help, either. The doorbell rang again a moment before I got it unlocked and open. Jason breathed a sigh of relief and stepped forward, wrapping me in his arms. "Thank the goddess." "I missed you, too," I said with a little chuckle, pulling away and letting him inside. "You just get out of class?" "Yeah. And saw the text that you were home. Sorry, my phone was on silent or I would have come right over." "No. Class is more important and I've been sleeping since." "Did everything go okay?" "No. Just do me a favor and don't ask. It's over. Mostly." "Okay." "Thank you, sweetie. Coffee?" "Beer?" "You staying the night?" "If you want." "Beer it is." I used the excuse of him not drinking and driving, but I was kind of hoping he'd stay. I didn't want to be alone and I didn't trust myself around Dar. Not until I figured out exactly what was going on and how the others felt about it. Out of all of them, Jason was the most comfortable to be around. He was completely undemanding. He didn't have Chief's overbearing demeanor, Jimmy's quirks, or Shea's need. He was just my Jason. Comfortable and sexy as all fuck. "I just woke up, so see if there's something on TV to watch." He nodded and headed for the living room. Do you wish to be alone? Nah. We're just going to have a few beers and relax. You're welcome to join us. I am tired, and Yukina seems restless now that you are not there. I shall stay with her if you do not mind. Not at all. Take care of her for me. I shall. "I need a bigger bed." "Excuse me?" I laughed as I handed Jason his beer. "Yuki and Dar have taken over." "Oh. I can go if you don't have room." I shut him up with a kiss. "Nope. We can just all snuggle. Or we can kick them out into Yuki's room, since Jaeren's not here." "Did he stay in Faerie?" I sighed as our conversation had fallen into the realm of what I hadn't wanted to discuss or think about. "Somewhat. Kidnapped by dark elves. But that's all I'm going to say about that." "Okay." He still looked worried, though. But he earned some serious brownie points by letting it go. He was flipping channels and I fought the urge to reach over and grab the remote from him, just to put it on something. Anything was better than flip-flip-flip. He was three-quarters through the whole rotation when he finally shut the TV off. "Couldn't find anything?" "Nothing better than sitting here watching you," he said with a shy smile. I smiled at him and clinked my beer bottle against his. "Business management?" "Um. Yeah?" "Not how to pick up chicks or wooing the opposite sex classes?" "Nope." "How'd you get to be so good at it?" "Kind of funny. Before I met you, I was horrible at it. One time, I walked up to a girl and asked her if she would like to go for a ham one day." "Huh?" "Yeah. I went to ask her if she would like to have dinner with me, and I asked her to go for a ham. One day. Most embarrassing moment of my life." "And that didn't work?" "No. She practically ran away." "Good thing. Never trust a woman who wouldn't go for any type of pork product. Bacon is love. Bacon is life." He chuckled and took a swig of beer. "So, what is it about me that turns you into Don Juan Junior?" "I just look at you and say the absolutely most truthful thing I could say." "Jeez, Jason. Keep this shit up and you're going to make my panties melt." "Damn it." "Oh, the cross you bear, huh?" "No. I was hoping to get them to burst into flames. That's how hot I wanted to get you." He was close. "Unfortunately, with smoldering passion comes unbelievable wetness. No flames in these panties." "Unless you consider your patch of flaming red hair…" "Touché." "Touchie?" I laughed, downed the rest of my beer, and set the empty bottle on the table. "Is that what you want, Jason? Do you want to touch me?" "I think you would be better off asking me, when don't I want to touch you." One more word and my panties were going to spontaneously combust, wet or not. I reached down and slipped off my sweat pants, but kept the panties on, turning myself and putting my legs in his lap. He stared at me like I was a T-bone and he was me. "Touch me." His face turned red as he blushed, but he still put his hand over my stomach and made a lazy circle around my belly button. "That's not where I meant." "I know." He looked away, unable to meet my eyes. I wanted him even more. "Don't you dare try to tease me right now. I need you." He laughed softly and put his beer down next to mine and lifted my legs up. He stood for a moment while he kicked off his shoes and slid his jeans down over his boxers. "I'm not teasing you, I'm enjoying you." "Hurry. Enjoy me faster." He just smiled and lifted my legs up before sitting back down, turning toward me, and setting my legs down over his. "Is this what you wanted?" "Whatcha doin?" "This," he said and slid his fingers over the silky softness of my panties. I gasped and lifted myself off the couch, getting a little closer and feeling the firmness in his boxers. "Yesss. That's exactly what I wanted." His finger traced down the front of them, gently following the contours of my lips, grazing the flesh below and sending shivers of pleasure through me. Gooseflesh covered my legs and I reached up and grabbed my breasts through my T-shirt, giving them a squeeze. "You are so fucking beautiful. And hot." "You're already in my panties, no need for the sweet talk." "It's not sweet talk. I just can't help but say aloud what I'm thinking." He was drinking me in with his eyes. All of me, not just the front of my panties. He used his other hand to free himself from his boxers while he continued his gentle caresses with the other. Then he pulled the gusset aside. I half-expected him to thrust himself inside me, but he didn't. He gently lay his cock across my lips and covered himself with my underwear. "Oooh." I shivered as his searing flesh touched mine. "So hot, so wet." "It's your fault." "I take full responsibility." "As you should. Now what are you going to do about it?" He slipped his finger between us and gathered some of my wetness before spreading it over my panties, just above my already twitching clit. He began to make lazy circles around it, never quite touching and driving me insane. My breathing quickened as he began moving his hips. His cock slipping against my lips, trapped between me and my panties. All I could do was make small noises from the back of my throat, not quite a moan and nowhere near a comprehensible word. I let go of my breasts and lifted my shirt, pinching my own nipples and thrusting myself against him. "Oh, fuck. I'm not going to last long. You're too beautiful and too wet. And you're turning me on way too much." "You going to come in my panties?" "Is that where you want me to?" "Yes. I want to feel it." He stopped teasing my clit and used his hand to cover us, pushing his throbbing cock against my lips as he began really moving his hips. The friction was driving me insane and the pleasure was exquisite. "Oh. Wow." "Yeah," he answered. "Faster." "Your wish is my command." His velvety-smooth hardness was infinitely better than his fingers. His tip parted my lips, pushing upward and dragging slowly across my clit. "Jason," I whispered. "Jason," I repeated. "Jason," I nearly cried. His name became a chant with every thrust of his hips. I opened my eyes and his face was just as contorted as mine, in pleasure. "I'm going to…" He trailed off as I felt him throb against me. "Jaaason," I shouted as it became too much, and I came against him, just before I felt a splash of scalding wetness cover me completely. He let go with his hand and leaned back against the arm of the couch to catch his breath. I reached down and felt our combined wetness, soaking the front of my panties. "Holy shit, that was amazing." I slid him across my flesh, still trapped and covered in come. "Don't. I can't take any more right now," he said with a soft whimper. "Oh. So, I shouldn't do this?" He was still semi-erect. Hard enough for me to slip him inside me. "Dottt," he hissed my name. I enjoyed the sensation of him filling me, throbbing inside of me, and just being closer to him. I didn't move, even I needed a few minutes before we even attempted to fuck. "I love how you feel inside me." "That works out good. Because I love being inside you. Next to you. Around you." "There you go again. Quit being so sweet or I might have to eat you." "That's my job," he said with a small chuckle. "Oh? You'd eat me? Right now, covered in your goo?" He blushed but didn't answer. "You would?" He nodded, slightly. "I couldn't think of a time when I wouldn't eat you." "Is that so?" I took his statement as a personal challenge. "What if I was covered in someone else's come? Would you eat me then?" "Probably not Chief's, but I think so." "Too close to home, huh?" He nodded and gave me a grin. "What about Jimmy's? Would you lick his off me? He'd like that, you know." "Probably." "Shea's?" He averted his eyes and smiled. "You would, wouldn't you. The thought kind of turns you on." "A little." "What is it about Shea? Even Jimmy has the hots for him. I think Chief might have a small crush on him, too." "He's like a woman, with a penis. It kind of lowers your guard around him." "Would you eat me while he had his penis in me? Would you suck on me while he was pounding inside of me?' I felt his cock twitch inside me. I gasped at the unexpected movement. "Somebody likes that idea." "A little. Yes." "Would you pull him from me and suck on it?" "No. Probably not." "Jimmy did," I said with a smile. "What?" I laughed, delighted to share the secret with him. He was probably the only person I would feel comfortable enough to tell it to. "The other night. We, all three of us, fooled around. Jimmy was on top of me, fucking me, and I was sucking Shea. I offered it to Jimmy, and he did." Halfway through my confession, Jason started moving his hips, moving his now fully-erect cock inside me. "Oh, goddess." "You're picturing that right now, aren't you?" "Yes." "Is it hot thinking of Jimmy sucking Shea's cock?" "Surprisingly, yes." "Want to know what else we did?" "Yes." I started rocking against him, both of us grinding him inside me. "Jimmy flipped us over, so I was on top." "Yes?" "Jimmy stopped sucking Shea and told him to fuck me, too." "DP?" "What?" "Double penetration. It's an entire category of porn." "You've seen a lot of this?" "I live alone. There isn't much porn I haven't seen at least once." "Wow. That's kind of hot." "I can't believe you had a cock in your ass. That's kind of really fucking hot." "Who said I did?" "Didn't… Wait. You had both of them inside your pussy?' "Yes." He groaned and started moving faster. Really liking that visual. "I was so full… And the feeling of them rubbing together inside of me was amazing." Jason started grunting. I bit my lip and enjoyed the feeling of him moving faster inside of me. "Where did they come?" He asked slowly, between thrusts. "Oh, they both exploded inside of me. It was literally pouring out of me." That was enough to push him past the point of no return. Again. I was almost disappointed with his youthful…recuperative powers. He slammed himself against me and I felt him spasming inside me as he filled me. "Aww. I was so close to coming." I chuckled. "Your wish is my command," he said breathlessly, pulling himself out of me and getting up. "What are you doing?" "This," he said, pushing the table out of the way and turning me to face him. He knelt, yanking my panties to the side before diving in. I threw my legs around his back and pulled him into me, his tongue removing everything from the outside and then driving up through my channel. I screamed his name as he sucked my clit into his mouth and began flicking his tongue over it. The orgasm I had been close to having kicked me to the curb and beat the hell out of me. I wasn't sure if it was multiple ones or just one that never ended. Either way, I didn't care. I couldn't care, that would have involved thinking. "Wow." "Did you like that?" He sat up and wiped his face off on the arm of his sleeve. "Ugh. No. Absolutely hated that. I think. Maybe you should do it again to make sure." At least he had the sense to know I was kidding. He gave me a happy grin. "More importantly… Did you like that?" "Coming twice with the most beautiful woman in the known universe? That was kind of a stupid question." "Not as bad as asking me if I liked it." "I see your point. But my answer is yes… It wasn't bad at all, and you made it much better." The scream from my bedroom had us both on our feet and to the door without another word. I gasped in shock. Jason gasped in shock and then nodded approvingly. Yuki had stripped completely naked and was lying on my bed, hand covering her sex and fingers buried within. Dar was on the floor in his elven form, spent cock in hand and orgasm splattered across his chest. I stared in shock, pushing down the jelly monster, and trying very hard to try and understand. They'd both gotten swept up in my orgasm, gotten naked, and rubbed one out. They weren't in the same bed and it's not like they had any control over the situation. I'd let them live. "Looks like they enjoyed it, too." I reached over and covered Jason's eyes. "Ya think?"
Chapter 3
Chapter 3 "Hey, Darlin'. Where you been hiding?" "Morning, Marge. Had to take a quick trip, just got back yesterday." "Well, welcome back. Coffee and a Coke?" "Please." "I'm assuming you don't want nothing, as usual?" "I'll try a coffee," Yuki said with a blush. "Sure thing, kiddo." Marge resisted the urge to ruffle Yuki's hair, but I could tell she wanted to. She was reaching over slowly until she decided to draw her hand back, probably remembering that Yuki was a vampire. Marge was one of the only two humans in Cedar Falls who knew that fact. "I'll be right back with your drinks." I chuckled softly as she left. "What?" "She wanted to pet your head." "Crazy old person did?" "Marge. Her name is Marge." "Why did she want to pet me?" "Probably because you're so damn cute." "Am not. I'm a snarling, angry, punkish vampire." "I don't know. You looked pretty cute all naked and rubbing yourself next to Dar last night…" She groaned like a wounded caribou. Half of the customers in the diner looked over at us. The other half probably knew better than to look. I'd been noticing looks and stares more often. Especially just walking down the street. Things were going to get pretty interesting in Cedar Falls if the rumor mill kept spreading tales. "There it is. I was waiting for it," she huffed. "Well, come on. It's not like I couldn't tease you at all." "Please, don't. I am mortified." "Why?" "Because I don't do stuff like that. I mean I do, do that. Usually only when you're going to town on the boys. But that was the first time I'd ever done it with someone else." "Look at the bright side. Your virginity is intact." "Never said I was a virgin." "Are you?" "Yes, but that's beside the point. I might have had sex a long, long time ago." "Just a feeling I had. No shame in it, especially if sex doesn't interest you. Does it?" She opened her mouth to say no. "I don't know, anymore." I chuckled softly. "Well…" "Not with Dar. Even in elf form," she added distastefully. "No?" I feigned surprise, the jealousy monster still rearing his ugly head. They were both my familiars… If anything ever happened between them, it would be pretty fucking awkward. I still wasn't sure how I felt about Dar, but the thought of Yuki even touching him made me snarly. If they did the deed, there wouldn't be a fucking thing I could do about it, we were stuck with each other forever. Or at least until I did something so stupid I ended up too dead to survive. "No. It would be kind of like sleeping with…a cousin or something." She even made a little gagging noise. Thankfully. "Ew," I said with a smile. "Yeah." "Well, if you ever need any advice… I'll find someone for you to talk to that isn't me, because I'm not exactly qualified…" That caused her to chuckle. "True story." "What you tryna say, Fangface?" "That your relationships, while quite wonderous, are not nearly as vanilla as I would be." "You calling me a slut?" I meant it as a joke, but she stared at me, almond-shaped eyes nearly in a perfect shocked circle. "No!" "I was kidding, Yuke. Calm your mammaries." "What mammaries? And don't joke. Who you are had way more to do with it than you think." "Who am I?" "A true witch high priestess." "But apparently, I'm not a witch, according to Jaeren." "Well, here's your chance to do a little research." She nodded to the door. I looked over my shoulder and smiled at Nana, who came strolling in with a youngish looking man in jeans and a flannel shirt under a jean jacket. "Hello, Child." "Hey, Nana." She shot the guy a nervous glance. I guess I should keep the fact that she's my grandmother out of it for now. "Dot, this is Tim. He's going to be doing some renovations to my house." "Hi, Tim." He nodded without looking, completely infatuated with my grandmother. "Go get us a booth, dear. I shall be along in a moment. I need to speak with my…cousin." "Sure thing, Cathleen." He moved a few booths down and slid in. "He's cute." "But stupid. Amazing with his hands, though." "Ew." "I meant as a carpenter. You need to come by the house and see all that he has done." "Why didn't you just use magic?" "I did and restored it to perfection. However, the house was ugly when it was built. I wanted something a little different." "Gonna have the elves paint the living room?" I snickered. "You are an incorrigible child. I hope you understand this." Yuki looked like she was going to shit a litter of bats, she was trying not to laugh so hard. "I do. Sit for a moment. I need to speak to you, though." "I am in a hurry, Child." "It's important." She sighed and slid into the booth with Yuki. Marge came over and brought our coffees, my Coke, and a cup of tea for Nana. "Thank you, Marjory." "You're welcome, Cathleen." She scurried away. "Cathleen? Not Miss Blackwell?" "Well, we were talking one day, and she was struggling with all of those nasty syllables. I took pity upon her and allowed her to address me by my goddess given name." Uh huh. "So, what did you wish to discuss," she said and took a sip of her tea. "What am I?" The cup started shaking in her hand. "Nana?" "I can…not. Do not ask." I should have known. Even the goddess couldn't answer me. I don't know why I expected my grandmother to. At least she didn't pass out when I asked. A well-deserved sigh escaped my lips. "How did you know?" I blinked at her in surprise. "A little pointy-eared rodent told me." "How did he find out?" "From the simple act of tasting my blood." She nodded. "I warned that misbegotten child of mine that you would find out soon." "Not even the goddess could tell me." That shocked the hell out of her. "You have been visited again?" "Yes. Multiple times. She sent me to Faerie. I almost died. But I did get this," I said and lifted the gem I had gotten from King Renlynn out from under my shirt. The gem that had driven him insane and that the goddess herself had sent me to find. Her eyes went even wider. "How? Where?" "Do you know what it is?" "No. But I have seen it before." "Where?" "Around the neck of your father." "When was the last time you spoke to Mother?" "Just yesterday. She called to accuse me of stealing her Yule gown." "Did you?" "Yes, but it looks much better on me. I was doing that old bat a favor." "Well, you might want to hide it. We're going to have a visitor soon," I said and took a picture of the gem in my hand. I sent it to my mother with a quick text. We need to talk. "What did you say?" I turned my phone to Nana, letting her read the message I had sent. "I wish you luck, Granddaughter." "Thanks, Nana." And just like that, she and her tea left and went to sit with Tim. "I take it you don't know who your father is?" "Yuki, I don't even know what my father is." "I thought I had it bad. I'm here. If you need a hug or something." "After watching you molest that poor little fae fiancée of Josie's, I don't know about all that." "Oh, my Night. Would you never, ever speak of that again?" "Nope. I like it when you blush like that." "I can't believe I did that. I mean, I've never really been attracted to anyone, but when I saw her…" "She is cute. I'm not gay, but even I find her incredibly attractive. Kind of like Margot Robbie. Or Ruby Rose. I'd totally do them." "Who?" "Never mind." "Wait. Isn't all this your fault anyway?" She narrowed her eyes at me. "Don't know what you're talking about. But, if we were to blame somebody, it's Dar's fault." "What did the dog do now?" Chief asked as he sat down next to me. I hadn't even noticed the door chime go off. I'll blame Ruby Rose for that one. She was rather distracting. "He told you last night. The whole mating ritual thingy. It's kicked my sex drive into hyperdrive." "So, I should thank him?" "Or shoot him. It seems to be drawing my focus toward him." "You're attracted to a German Shepherd?" He kind of gave me a half-disgusted, half-interested look. "Ew! No." I slapped his arm. "That seems to be the only thing that's keeping me from rocking his plane of existence." He sighed and held up a finger to Marge. She rushed over and set a cup of coffee in front of him. "You all want to order?" "Burger and fries." "I meant the ladies. I know what you want." "I'll have the usual." She looked at Yuki. "I can't." "That's right, Darlin'. I forgot. Can I get you anything else?" "Not unless you have any blood behind the counter," she said with a chuckle. "See what I can do." Yuki stared after her incredulously. "She gave me whiskey once. Don't be so surprised. It will probably be pig, though." "Ew." "Marge. Served you. Liquor?" I looked at Chief, forgetting that what she had done was illegal. "No. It was um, amaretto flavored half and half." "Uh huh." "You give her shit and you will be cut off. It's just because you were being an ass that day." "Oh. Okay. If it was my fault, I'll let it slide." He rolled his yes. "Fucking Boy Scout," I mumbled under my breath. "What was that?' "I said, boy I wish they served trout." "Sure you did." "So. I found out something interesting," I said in all seriousness. "What is that?" Yuki kicked me under the table and shot me a glance. I laughed a little. She thought I was going to spill the beans about her and Dar. I winked at her. "The gem I got from the elf king…" "Yeah?" "Belongs to my father." "I thought you didn't know who he was?" "I don't. But Nana recognized it." "How did the dark elves find it?" "That's what I'm going to find out next. As soon as they return Jaeren." "You think they will?" "I think they better. If they know what is good for them." "You're kind of scary when you're all ferocious. Just so you know." "Scary hot or scary scary?" "Little bit of both," he said and gave me a small kiss. My cockles were officially warmed. I blinked and gave him a goofy grin. "Now you're just cute." "Not so bad yourself." Yuki kicked me under the table again. You're going to make me puke. Shut up. You're just jelly. I am, kind of. She sighed wistfully. "So, back to the Dar thing," he said. "How do you feel about him?" "Dar?" "Uh, yeah." "Dar is…" I sighed, not knowing where to start or if I could stop once I started. "Dar. He's amazing, funny, loyal." "Loyal is a quality for a dog. I meant as a man. Do you find him attractive?" "Horns and all." "Well, what's one more?" "One more what?" "Boyfriend. Lover. Whatever we are to you." "You want to know what you are to me, Chief?" "A pain in your ass?" He chuckled. "Everything. Every single one of you. You mean everything to me." I swear to the goddess, a tear rolled down his cheek. He coughed and started playing with his silverware, but a small smile forced its way out. "So?" "So, what?" "What am I to you?" I wanted to strangle him. "My high priestess, my lover. My girlfriend, my best friend. My reason for not giving up, and the closest I've come to being alive again for so many years." My eyes squirted all over my face. I buried my face into his uniform covered arm. "You're the bestest, Hanker Chief." "What he do now?" Marge set his burger in front of him but slapped his hand when he went to take a fry. "He deserve to eat?" "Yep. I'll even buy him pie when he's done." "Good boy," she said and shoved a fry in his mouth. "Bout time you wizened up." "Fank you. Vose is hot!" He fanned his mouth, chewing the scalding bit of food. "Here you go, sweetie," she said and set a mug of something in front of Yuki. Yuki's eyes widened and she sniffed the air tentatively. "That's…" "Sush, sweetie. Enjoy." Yuki grabbed the mug and started drinking, making little ecstatic noises. I shot Marge a questioning look. "A few of the others like to come into the diner… They uh, they gave us a supply of…beverages that we could serve so they wouldn't look suspicious sitting here doing nothing. They pretend it's coffee." "Huh. That's kind of awesome." "Yep. They even insist on paying us for drinking their own supply. Nice kids. Well, anyway. Eat up. You ever need a meal, kiddo. You can come here." This time she did reach out and ruffle Yuki's hair. "Thank you!" She grinned and let her ruffle away. My phone dinged. I reached down and snagged it off the table. There was a single message notification from an unknown number splashed on the screen. I frowned and set the phone back down on the table. Curiosity got the better of me, though. There are moments in everyone's life. Moments that seem to happen in slow motion. Or moments that offer such clarity, that everything around you fades away. Moments that you are certain will change the course and direction of your life in a single instance. I was having one of those. My hand shook as I reached back down and gingerly picked my phone back up and slid my finger across the screen. Greetings, Daughter. My finger shook as I typed, Hello? I was about to hit send when it started ringing in my hand. My mother's familiar Witchy Woman ringtone blaring in the restaurant. "Mother?" "Greetings, Child." "Don't greetings me. What the hell is going on?" "I'm sure you have a thousand questions." "A few more than that." She sighed on the other end of the phone. "I am sure." "No, Mother. You don't get to play this off. What the hell am I? Who the hell is my father? Why is he texting me?' "He's contacted you, already?" "Yes!" "I am coming there. Do not contact him until I am with you." The phone went dead in my hand. Not just the line. I mean the whole phone went dead and it wouldn't turn back on, even though I knew I had almost a full battery. "Damnit, Mother." I set the phone back down and growled at it for good measure. "You okay?" Chief nudged my leg with his. "No." "What's going on?" "My father. He messaged me just before my mother called and then she magically zapped my phone. It won't even turn on." "Why?" "I can only assume she doesn't want me talking to him without her being here." My grandmother got up from her booth and came back to ours, sitting back down with Yuki. "Nana?" "I heard." "What is she doing?" "I don't think that is the question you should be asking yourself. More along the lines of why." "Because she and my father don't get along?" Nana let out a bark of laughter. "Your mother does not get along with anybody. No, Child. This is much deeper than that, but do not ask me for specifics. Just know that the truth will come, in time. Be patient." "My father texted me." "I am surprised he knows how and that he was…free to do so." "Can you at least tell me his name?" "No. It is not my place, I am sorry. I shall leave that to your mother and him." I snarled in frustration. "Did you just snarl at me?" "No, Nana. At everything." She pursed her lips and nodded. "Can't say I blame you for that one. These are all things that you should have learned ages ago. Had he not disappeared, I'm sure you would have." "He disappeared?" "Again, this is falling into the realms of not my business to tell you. Sorry, Child." "It's okay. Mother is coming." "And I shall take that as my cue to leave." "I don't mean this second." "You don't know your mother as well as I. But here, take this. It has served me well, and I no longer have a need for it. You might." She reached into her jacket pocket and pulled something out. When I opened my hand, she put it in it and curled my fingers around it, whispering something in Irish I couldn't quite catch. "There. It is now yours." "What is it?" "My broom." "Nana!" "Shush. At our battle with the demons, it served you better than me. You might find yourself in need." "I don't know what to say." "Yes you do." "Thank you." "You are welcome. See how easy that was?" She gave me an exaggerated wink. "Well, I must be off. Tim is going to service my plumbing." "I hope to goddess you have a leaky sink." "Not for long, dear." Chief started choking on his hamburger. I started slapping him on the back as Nana stood and motioned for Tim. He obediently rose and followed her out the door. I opened my palm, stared at the rune covered twig, and smiled. "You have a pretty cool grandmother." I nodded at Chief. "It's the mother I need to work on."
Chapter 4
Chapter 4 There was a for sale sign sticking out of the front lawn of my neighbor's house. Herb's name and phone number were on the sign. I didn't know which offended me more. The fact that my neighbors were selling their house, or the fact that Herb didn't tell me. I wanted that house, I just hadn't known I wanted it until I saw the sign in the front yard. It was the couple who'd been staring at me from their front porch the other day. The ones who scrambled to get inside and away from me. They would be sorely missed. I reached for the phone in my pocket, remembering its untimely demise as my fingers wrapped around it. "Hey, Yuki. Can I borrow your phone?" She handed it to me without a word. I dialed Herb's number straight off the sign while I unlocked my front door. He picked up on the fourth ring. "Hey, Herb." "Dot?" Herb's voice sounded unsure through the phone, not recognizing the number. "Yep. You're selling the house next to mine?" He chuckled through the phone. "I should have known you would be interested. Are you interested?" "Hell, yeah. It's gets a little crowded in here." "I should have sold you a bigger house." "You should have. But a second one will do nicely." "You want to see it first?" "Do I ever?" "No." "See. You answered your own question. Now answer mine. Did they bitch about me?" "I also should have known that you were the crazy neighbor slut." "What? They called me a slut?" Crazy I could live with, slut… "Yeah." "Wow. That…almost hurts." "Sure, it does. You've been called worse by better people, I'm sure." "True story." I sighed. They probably didn't appreciate the multiple men visiting at multiple hours. Plus, my bedroom wall was closest to their house. At least I wouldn't have to worry about that anymore. "Are they leaving town?" "Pastor Thomas? No. They're moving into an apartment." "He's a pastor?" "Yep." "No wonder he didn't like me." "Actually, it was his wife who wasn't too enchanted with you." That made me laugh. "Oh, well. Guess I won't be getting an invitation to the next church potluck." "I can invite you, if you want." "You're a God-fearing man, Herb?" "More so than not lately." "When the universe shows you what's really out there, you kind of need an anchor, huh?" "You got it." I could almost hear him nodding his head in agreement. "Well, if you ever need to talk about it, I'm your witch." "Thanks, Dot. Not going to laugh at me for believing in God?" "Hell no. I try to be tolerant of everybody's beliefs." "Bet you wish more people were like that, huh?" "Yeah. Saves us from getting burned at the stake." "Well, I promise to give you a heads up if I hear anybody saying anything about large gasoline and torch purchases." "Thanks, Herb. I'm sure the rumor mill is just grinding them out after the fiasco last week." "You talking about city hall?" he asked after a pause. "Yeah." "I think you might be overreacting." "How? I've heard the whispers. I've seen the stares." "Not one person was seriously injured that day. Those who didn't chalk the whole thing up to a mass hallucination, just remember the good you did. Not one person has said anything condemning, to my knowledge. Trust me. Marge would have been the first to hear." "So why is everybody so concerned about us?" "You." "Me?" "Dot, this is a small town. You have been seen with no less than three boyfriends…" "Oh. I'm the town slut, not the witch." "Pretty much." "I can live with that." "Yeah. I don't think they burn people at the stake for that. Pennsylvania, maybe, but not New York." I gave a little laugh. "Thanks, Herb." "So, do you want the house?" "How much?" He told me the figure and I smiled. It was less than I had paid for my house. I guess having shitty neighbors was a plus. "Tell them I'll take it." "I'll let you know when." "Thanks again, Herb." "Always a pleasure, Dot." I hung up the phone and stared at it, happy about the house, happy about the news that we weren't outed as witches yet, but I was kind of disturbed that the whole town thought I was a slut. It could be worse. They could think I was dating Josie. That made me feel a little better about myself. "Thanks, Yuke," I said and handed her the phone. "No problem. You going to get a new one soon? I don't have any friends other than you, anymore, but I don't think I could even live without one." "Is there even a cell phone store in Cedar Falls?" "Beats the hell out of me. Ask your boyfriend." "Which one?" "Does it matter?" "Probably not. Could you text Jason for me? See if he can pick one up and drop it off. Let him know it's kind of important." And it was. I hadn't even had a chance to respond to the person claiming to be my other parent. The answers were in my grasp and I'd be damned if my witch of a mother was going to bind my hands. "Sure thing, Boss." "I like that better than Master." "Sure thing, Boss." She chuckled as her fingers danced over the keys. Josie peeked at me from around the corner. "Welcome back." "Thanks. Been an interesting morning." "All good?" "No. I'll tell you after you get dressed." "Kay." What happened? Dar sat up on the couch, looking at me over the back. As soon as I had left, he had reverted back to doggy. At least there wasn't a hellhound on my couch. I had just bought the damn thing. I got a text from my father, and a phone call from my mother. She wasn't too happy and killed my cell phone to keep me from talking to him. And you automatically assumed it was out of spite? Most things my mother does are out of spite, Darling. You know there are mysterious circumstances regarding your sire…maybe she is trying to protect you? Or herself. If you always look for the worst, that is often all you will see. Changing your name to "Fortune Cookie." Wisdom can often be found in confections. Take cheesecake for example. Good point. Josie came plodding out of her room, Candace rubbing her eyes behind her and giving me a small smile when she saw me. "What happened?" I sighed. I should have waited to tell Dar until they got in the room. I hated repeating myself, but I reiterated what I told him. Candace looked thoughtful, Josie seemed…Josie. "What?" "I'm kind of jealous. Your father isn't human. He might be late to the party, but he's still around. I miss my dad." She frowned a little. "But I'm super happy for you." "Let's just hope he's not an asshole. Going to have to assume he's already a deadbeat." "Pshah. For all you know, he was locked in some celestial prison. Plus, do you think he could be any worse than your mother?" "Or yours?" "Not even going to bristle at that one. Or mine?" Candace nodded emphatically. Her little fae head threatening to come loose. "You don't have to agree that much, sweetie." Wanting a change of subject… "So. When's the big day?" "Next Samhain. So don't worry, you have quite a while to plan the bachelorette parties," Josie said with a chuckle. "Separate? Or you both going to be ogling the strippers? And what flavor would you like? Dangling or non-dangling?" "Why not both?" I looked at Candace for confirmation. She seemed very unsure. I'd go with non-dangling strippers and just get a private show for Josie later. "We can discuss it further. I can't tell you how happy I am for you both," I said as my eyes got a little misty. "Oh, sweetie. Thank you." Josie walked up to me and gave me a hug. The mist turned into a waterfall. I'd never in a million years thought she would be tying the knot before I did. "I can't believe you're getting married before me." "Me neither. Not like you don't have a list of candidates." "Meh. They'd probably get all jealous and demand rings, too." I happened to look over at Dar. He was staring at me curiously. What? Nothing. Just surprised the little one agreed to marry your friend. Make sure she is doing so of her own free will. He gave me a mental chuckle. I opened my mouth to broach the subject of the house next door but decided against it. It wasn't a done deal yet. When I had the keys in hand, I'd ask them their thoughts on the matter. There was almost a year before the wedding, I had time to get everything settled. "Jason says there is a store, but wants to know which phone you have, otherwise…sim card…blah blah blah, techno nerd-speak." Yuki huffed and looked up at me. "He really said that?" "No. There was just a lot of big words. You want to read it?" "No. Here," I said and pulled out my deceased cell. "Give him the model number." Yuki took my phone and pulled it out of the case, typing in the model number off the back. "Yuki?" "Yeah?" "Who pays for your phone service?" "My Dad. I'm expecting it to run out this month." "Take my phone, go meet Jason. Tell him to move mine, yours, and his to a business account." "I don't really need one…" "Shut your little fangy face and do as I say." "Yes, Boss." "Good girl." She was out the door in a flash. Dar looked up at me. "You want a cell phone too?" Hardly. I do not understand humanity's fascination with those devices. "Obviously you have never played Candy Crush." He huffed and lay his head back down on the couch. I sat down next to him and absentmindedly stroked his fur. Candace sat next to me and leaned against my shoulder. "You okay?" She nodded against me. "Just glad you are home." "I'm hopping in the shower," Josie said and headed toward her bedroom. "Have fun. Don't get wet." "That never gets old," she called over her shoulder. We'd been using the same line since we were kids. It had become almost a ritual. I watched her round the corner. "She okay?" I whispered my question to Candace when she was out of earshot. "Still angry about the Yuki thing." "Yeah. I could see that. She does know it was my fault, right?" "Yes." "Just jealous?" "Yes." "I guess I can't blame her. I'd be jealous if someone kissed one of my guys, too." "It is understandable." "Did it bother you? Are you mad at Yuki?" "No. I understand." "That wasn't my question." "No. It did not bother me. It bothered me that it hurt Josie." "Yeah. I get that." "I should go have a shower with her and make it up to her." I chuckled softly. "Have fun." "I shall." She got up and left Dar and I alone on the couch. We sat in silence for a few moments. Master? Yes? Would you care to go…shopping? I smiled at the hopefulness in his mental voice. We could, but I don't think bringing a dog to Walmart would go over so well. I could take my elven form and wear something over my ears. I hadn't thought about that. The thought of going anywhere wasn't exactly appealing, but maybe it would help me take my mind off things. "Okay." Suddenly there was a naked elf sitting next to me. "May I borrow your clothes again?" I sighed. He would probably be better dressed than most, but he would still stand out. They were women's clothes after all. But the less attention he garnered while trying to appear human, the better. "No. I'll have Jason bring you some of his. He needs to drop off my cell phone anyway. Would you mind waiting that long?" "That is a good idea. May I borrow yours while we wait?" "Please." "You do not like seeing me without clothes." He didn't make it a question. "That's the problem. I do." "Ah. I shall change, then." He got up off the couch and I wanted so badly to reach out and just touch him. Anywhere. Everywhere. I waited until he was in my room before sighing and standing. I walked over to Josie's room and lightly rapped on the door. "Who is it?" "Housekeeping, you want mint for pillow?" Josie chuckled and opened it, standing there wrapped in a towel. Candace was just pulling off her shirt and didn't stop on my account. I tried hard not to look but failed miserably. "Can I borrow your phone? I need to call Jason." "I don't have his number. Do you know it?" Shit. "No. Crap." "I have Yuki's," Candace said, grabbing hers off the dresser and handing it to me. Jose cocked an eyebrow at her but didn't say anything. "I have everyone's numbers for just such emergencies. It would be wise for you to, as well." She slapped Josie on the ass. "Uh huh." "Knock it off, Josie," I chided her, knowing she was half-playing. "Just trying to make her feel guilty. She gets kinkier when you do that," she whispered conspiratorially, knowing full well that Candace could hear her. She got a well-deserved elbow to the ribs. "You're sure you want to marry her?" I gave Candace a sad little look. She nodded, stopped to think about it, and nodded some more. Josie couldn't elbow her unless she wanted to take out a tooth, so she just pouted. "She gets kinkier when she thinks you are mad at her," Candace said and winked. "Okay. Great talk, you two." I shook my head and headed back out into the living room. Yuki picked up on the third ring. "I told you not to call me when Josie was around." "What?" "I'm kidding. I knew it was you." "You better be kidding." "I am, I swear!" She started laughing. "Is Jason there?" "Yeah. You wanna talk to him?" "No. Just ask him to stop by his house. I'm taking Dar shopping and he needs some clothes. And a hat. If he wouldn't mind lending him some." There was muffled conversation and she came back on the line. "He said no problem." "Tell him I said thank you. How long are you going to be?" "He's just signing everything now. We'll be back shortly." "Yokai." "Were you trying to say 'roger' in Japanese?" "Hai." "Congratulations. You just said ghost. Roger is 'ryokai'." "That's what I said?" "Give it up, Yankee." The line clicked dead. I stared at it a minute to make sure. One thing was for certain, I needed to watch more anime.
Chapter 5
Chapter 5 Hello? Are you there? I hit send on the same text as the last twelve I had sent. Dar, Yuki, and I were walking into Walmart and I almost ran into one of the metal poles they set into the concrete outside the doors to stop cars from driving into the store. "Be careful, Boss," Yuki said and pushed me out of its path. I saw the pole and shot her a look of gratitude. "Thanks." She nodded. "The work of a familiar is never done." "Just yesterday, I saved her from stubbing her toe." Dar chuckled to himself. "Would you guys rather do little stuff like this or rescue me from other realms and assassins?" "Assassins," they said simultaneously, nodding their heads. The effect was quite creepy. "Sorry your job has been boring for all of twenty-four hours." "Just kidding. Shopping barriers are more than enough danger," Yuki said and grabbed a cart after we passed through the sliding glass doors. "Welcome to Walmart," the greeter said with a smile. He was human, but might have been close to my mother's age, judging from the leathery texture of his skin. "Thanks. Glad to be here," I said and smiled. "That's a first," he answered with a wink. "Dar, grab a cart, too. We might as well stock up while we're here." "On what?" "The necessities. Coffee and beer." "Don't forget, you're out of wine, too," Yuki reminded me. "Yeah, but they don't sell that here. We'll have to go to a liquor store." "Bummer." "You need clothes?" She shook her head but gave me that little blushing look that signaled she was full of shit. "Fine. I'll just pick out some cute little dresses for you to wear." "I could use some jeans. And underwear. Maybe a couple of T-shirts." I looked down at her very worn shoes. "And shoes." She looked down and gave me a resigned sigh. "Shoes, too." I gave her a smile and patted her head. She was learning. "All right. Dar first, then we'll hit the women's section. Then get the rest." "I do not know what size I am?" Dar was leafing through the jeans on the shelf. "I'd say thirty-two waist, thirty inseam, and an extra large in shirts. Gotta fit those shoulders in." "Help me?" I chuckled and took pity on him, pulling out a few pairs and went down a size on a couple that looked like they would be a little baggy on him. An ass like that shouldn't be hidden behind curtains. Shrink wrap would be better. I stuffed the pile in his arms and pointed at the changing rooms, the attendant practically drooling at him as he walked over. "I'll find you some shirts while you try those on." "Yes, Master." The attendant blinked and stared at me open-mouthed. I wiggled my eyebrows at her. Yuki just laughed. "I'm going to go look, is that okay?" "Sure." She pushed the other cart across the aisle into the women's section. I kept staring at my phone, hoping for a response. Hoping for anything. "How do these look?" I tore my eyes from my phone, praising the Lady that I had. Dar was standing by the attendant's counter and looking over his shoulder at the mirror on the wall. She was clutching her heart and I wiped the drool from my chin. He was wearing the jeans and nothing else. The hat that had been covering his ears was gone and the cascading waves of brown hair he had tucked up under it was barely doing the job. Good thing she wasn't looking anywhere near his head. I'd seen him in his elven form totally naked. There was just something about a shirtless man in jeans, barefoot, that just got the old juices flowing. He looked like he should have been on the cover of a magazine. Or standing in a field of wheat on the September page of a farming calendar. "Those…um… Those look good. Are those the thirties or the thirty-twos?" "The thirties. The others would have required a belt. They kept sliding over my hips." "Yeah. Go with those then," I managed to say. The attendant could only nod in agreement. "I shall. Did you happen to find a shirt?" "Uh. I'll keep looking." "Thank you, Master." He turned around and went back into the dressing room. "Girl, where the hell did you find him, what did you do to get him to call you master, and does he have a fricking brother?" "Oh, I went through hell to get that one. Unfortunately, he's an only child." I think. "Damn. Kudos to you." I made a mental note never to bring the other four into the store with me. Her heart probably wouldn't be able to handle it and she seemed like a nice lady. "Thanks," I said with a grin. Dar came back out, with two piles of clothing, and set the one on the counter. "My thanks," he told the clerk. "Sugar, it was my pleasure." "Come on, Dar. Let's find you some shirts." It didn't take us long. We found Yuki and waited for her to finish picking out some clothes. She seemed hesitant but then I realized not much in the store suited her particular fashion sense. I'd make it up to her by taking her to the mall for a girls' day of shopping. She'd find more of a selection with chains and skulls there. "Where to next?" "Swing by the office supplies," I told her. She looked around at the overhead signs and pointed us in the right direction. "You need stuff?" "Crayons." "Crayons?" "Don't ask. Welcoming home present for Jaeren." "If he comes home." "When he comes home. I wasn't kidding when I said I would wreck their world if they didn't return him." Yuki only nodded solemnly. We would join you. I know, Dar. It kind of hit me, right then, when the moment of anger and protectiveness swept over me, that I realized how I felt about the stuck-up, condescending, statuesque elf. We had started out as enemies, but he was kind of growing on me. I wouldn't exactly classify us as friends, yet, but the foundations were definitely there. I wasn't kidding when I said I'd destroy an entire realm to keep him safe. If that wasn't a good foundation, I didn't know what the hell else was. A sixty-four box of crayons, an entire ream of paper for him to draw on, six coloring books, two cases of coffee, two cases of beer, and thirty minutes in the checkout line later, and we were out the door. A very successful trip. I hadn't murdered anybody. I'd closed the trunk and slid the cart to Yuki, who had offered to put it in the corral, when the air pressure around us dropped. I looked up, half expecting the somewhat-cloudy sky to start with a light dusting of snow. "Yuki hurry." She looked over her shoulder and saw me staring at the sky. I heard her gasp and push the cart the remaining distance while I stared at the swirling black clouds above us. "Get in the car!" I nodded, still sort of mesmerized. Tornadoes weren't that common in Virginia and even rarer in upstate New York. I'd never seen one, let alone see one forming. Something about the whole situation felt wrong. "Something's coming," Dar said from behind me. "Yeah. The fricking Wicked Witch of the West. Come on, Dorothea and Toto. Get in the fricking car." Yuki almost sounded panicked. "She is right, Master. Let us go." "Afraid somebody is going to drop a house on me?" "Or worse." I nodded and turned, getting in and starting the engine with the key fob. We were all in and backed out when it fell from the sky. It wasn't a house, it was an angel. She landed in a classic superhero landing, knee to the ground and punching a solid crater into the asphalt in front of my vehicle. "Fuck," I said deadpan and threw the car into reverse as I stared at her glorious, monstrously-sized wings as they stretched out and batted the cars parked in her landing zone backward into the cars behind them. People started screaming around us and running toward the store. "That's gonna make the news," I said and stomped on the accelerator, throwing us back away from her. "Dorothea Blackwell!" Her voice boomed all around us, not unlike when I had yelled at Yuki to get off Candace. "She knows your name," Yuki said fearfully. "I noticed." "She looks pissed." I ignored her, spun the car away from the main entrance, threw it into drive, and gunned it. "Where is she?" "Running after us." "Not for long." I stomped on gas again after sliding out of the parking lot and heading back toward Cedar Falls. I was finally grateful we didn't have our own Walmart. At least the news of an angel crashing to earth wouldn't be town gossip for once. I fervently hoped three people being smeared across the highway didn't, either. Looking in all my mirrors, I couldn't see her. "Where is she?" "Flying behind us." Yuki was hanging over the back seat, looking out through the rear window. "Gaining or losing?" "Staying the same." "Shit." "Can you not go faster?" Dar was white knuckling the dashboard. "No. You okay?" "I do not care for…those creatures." "Angels?" "Forget what you think you know about them. Most of that is trash." "So, not heavenly beings?" "No more than the denizens of Gehenna. Simply from another plane." "Great." "As Gehenna is the lowest of the spiritual planes, it has the greatest negative energy. They come from the highest and have positive spiritual energy. We are natural enemies." "Okay. Thanks for the lesson." "You inquired." "Not really. But, just to clarify, no heaven?" "There are several of them depending on your gods of choice, but the heavens are not part of the spiritual world. It encompasses it." "So, no hell?" "Some places would make you think you were there. But no eternal damnation with a pitchfork-wielding devil stirring your soul in a cauldron of damnation because you didn't go to church every week." "Good to know." "Can you two concentrate on losing the thing with wings?" I nodded at Yuki in the rearview. "Why is there never a tunnel around when you need one?" "Make your own?" Dar looked over at me. "Uh, yeah. Let me just whip one out." "You opened a rift to the mortal realm in Faerie." "Surrounded by limitless energy. Here… I don't have that kind of power." "We will not lose that thing unless you try." My energy reserves were full. The only thing I could do was give it a shot. "Fine. Take the wheel." He reached over and grabbed it. "You can do it," he whispered calmly. "She's attacking! With a big fucking spear!" "Fuck me." I held my hands out on front of me, aiming my intent above the road in front of us. "No. Do not open a hole beneath us, we will fall! It's why you dropped part of this world into Faerie. Open one in front of us." "I thought we needed to go down." "Up, down, does not matter. This realm was all you knew. Now you have been to Faerie. You can take us there without dropping us from the sky." "Sure. I'll just take your word for it." "Trust me, Master. You can do this. Picture the clearing in your mind." I gave it my best shot, ripping a hole through reality right in front of the car… and screamed as my car started bouncing across the unpaved, un-mowed grasses of Elfhame Autumn Glade. Unfortunately, we were nowhere near the clearing where the portal was and it was apparently night time in Faerie. "I did it!" "Close it!" I flung my intent to the wind, severing my tie to the rift behind us. It slapped shut with a clap of thunder as I slammed on the brakes, sliding across the dew-covered grass. Even with the portal closed, we covered our ears as the angel's scream rang through. "She sounds pissed," Yuki said with a throaty laugh. "Great. We're safe. Now how the fuck do we get home?" "Well, I would not suggest driving through the gate. It would be more difficult getting your vehicle out of the basement of the bar," Dar said, looking around. "I was picturing the clearing, where the hell are we?' "I do not know. The only places of the elfhame I saw were with you." "Well, I guess we could drive around and ask someone for directions," I said and looked around. We were in a field of grass nestled between two large hills, replicas of where we were in the mortal realm, without the highway between them. "Wait." "What?" Yuki leaned closer between the two seats. "We're where we were in the mortal realm, just in Faerie. Look around you. It's a geographic match." "So if you keep going about ten miles and then head south…" "We can go back closer to the house," I said. "Hopefully we don't end up in a house." "Yeah. That would suck." "Better than sitting here waiting for the elves to notice us." I nodded and gave the car a little gas, turning us around and heading in the direction we'd been going when we came through the gate. I reset the trip function on the odometer. Being a shitty judge of distance, it was the only way to know when we were getting close to town. "I'll pop us back out before we head south. Hopefully there won't be any cars in front of us." "Good plan," Yuki said and patted my shoulder. "Wouldn't call it good, but it might work." We sat in silence, everyone watching for anything that might hurt the car or us, while I slowly watched the odometer finally climb its way to ten miles. I stopped the car and gave a little prayer to the goddess that we would emerge unscathed. "Look around you." "Yuki, we're in the middle of a field." "Look not in this realm, Daughter. Use your eyes and intent. Focus. What do they see?" Yuki's eyes were glowing golden in the mirror. Apparently, Candace and I weren't the only ones who could be inhabited by the goddess. "Greetings, Lady." "Hello, Child." "I see grass and a starry sky." "Now think of your world as you do." I knew better than to question her. If she said I could do it, I could. After about a minute I was ready to give up. Until I saw a set of red glowing lights pass right by us at about sixty miles an hour. "Oh, shit. That would have been bad." "Now you have your reference." She kissed the back of my head and I felt her presence leave. Yuki made spitting noises. "Why am I kissing your hair?" "You said you loved the way my shampoo smelled and then started making out with the back of my head." "What?" She pulled away. Even Dar started laughing. "Just kidding. You were visited by the goddess. She showed me a new trick." She shuddered. "I think I'd rather have a shampoo fetish." I moved the car over about twenty feet from where I had seen the tail lights pass us. If we had come out where we were, it would have been in the middle of oncoming traffic. "You could see the mortal realm?" Dar was staring at me incredulously. "Yeah. We were in the westbound lane. That could have been bad." He nodded. "Okay, here goes nothing," I said and pulled the magic from around us, leaving my already filled reserves alone, in case we needed it when we got back to New York. I opened another rift in front of us but didn't move until I saw grass and not asphalt on the other side. Breathing a sigh of relief, I slowly rolled us through, closing the door behind us. "You did it, Master." Dar sounded genuinely impressed. We were just beyond the shoulder of the road. No cars and no angels were in sight. "Let's go home."
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