Underrated

Chapter 1

Of all of the thirty-six alternatives, running away is best.

I couldn’t hold my eyes open for one more second. I had just driven two thousand nine hundred and fifty four miles, fifty seven hours, not including the six hours that I tried to sleep at the Motel 6, twice. Thirty four more miles, according to the robotic voice coming from the box stuck to the windshield of my not so new, used car.

The closer I got, the more my nerves began to stand on end. What the hell was I doing? Who does this? Who walks away from their life to start all over? And when I say all over, I truly mean all over. My entire existence had been nothing but an illusion.

My name is no longer Morgan Kelley. That one would take some getting used to. I spent hours of my long drive going over the aspects of my new life with my invisible friend in the passenger seat. We actually had hours of conversations, okay, so they were one sided, but they were without doubt, conversations. I had even given my new friend a name and called him slash, after the three inch gash in the cheap vinyl seat.

My name is Riley Murphy. I moved to Misty Bay, Maine from Carson, Indiana when my company downsized, and I lost my job as an advertising rep. The small two bedroom cottage was a gift from my late grandmother. “Wow, a small cottage in Misty Bay, population, one thousand seventy five.” I interrupted my life studies when reality sat in for the millionth time since I had left Las Vegas. I mean Indiana. “Dammit Morg... Shit, I mean Riley.” I need to sleep. I just need sleep. I can’t function. I know this. I have it all embedded in my brain. I am going to be fine, and there is nobody from Misty Bay, Maine looking for me. I had to stop. I couldn’t repeat my new life out loud or to myself, one more time. Not if I intended to keep my sanity in tack. It was already on the verge of toppling over.

“Turn right in one point seven miles,” the robotic voice instructed. I turned right and was on a curvy blacktop road barely wide enough for two vehicles. The coast was absolutely breath taking, and did wonders for my nerves. I reached over and cranked the handle, rolling down the passenger side window. My nerves calmed even more when I heard the waves crashing to the rock walls below me. I couldn’t believe it. I was going to be living by the ocean. I could walk along the beach anytime I wanted, and I would too, I promised myself.

‘Welcome to Misty Bay,’ I finally read the homemade wooden sign, situated in the fresh spring, green leafed trees off the side of the road. I drove through the small town, looking out every window in the car. My head spun around until it wouldn’t rotate any further. One bank, one post office, one grocery store, one small library which looked like it would fit in the one that I use to go to in Las, I mean Indiana, at least ten times.

‘Reminiscent,’ I read as I pulled to the curb. This was where I would be working. Me, working in a coffee shop slash, hippy store. I had never had a job in my life. I felt a little whinsical thinking about it. I looked into my rearview mirror. I still had the bruise just below my right eye, but I had four days to get settled before I started work. It should be gone by then.

I waited for the school bus to pass and continued on my journey, excited to finally reach my destination. “Turn right,” the voice instructed again. I made a right and was on a one lane graveled road. It was a quaint little neighborhood, and an older gentleman waved as I passed him retrieving his mail. “Arriving at destination, on right,” I was informed. It wasn’t what I was expecting at all. The cottage was sort of by the beach, and I hoped there was a strategy to get off of the mountaintop to enjoy it. The aqua blue color of the house had to go. Who in their right mind would paint a house that color? It was the ugliest blue I had ever seen. I actually had a sundress pretty close to that color. I wouldn’t be wearing that, I decided when I got out of my car. It was the beginning of May and the temperature might have been sixty. When I left Las, I mean Indiana, it was ninety nine.

I opened the gate, just off from the driveway. The picket fence was nice, and I liked the white, but would unquestionably be changing the color of the house. I walked up the small porch and unlocked the door, the door to my new home. “Wow,” I said out loud to no one. The living room was open and led to the small dining area. I walked across the hardwood floor to the other side. I loved the French doors that led to a nice deck, although it was further away from the beach than I had hoped. I turned back to the bright yellow walls on every wall that I could see. The kitchen wasn’t bad and had updated, modern appliances, but the bright yellow paint was already giving me a migraine. The countertops were a dark gray color. I thought that they were some kind of fake marble, but I could work with that.

I walked toward the side of the house and peeked in the bathroom. I was pleasantly surprised. I was happy to see the rather large claw foot tub, and was gratified to see that the walls were a pleasant neutral, olive green color. I liked that room, and it only needed a good cleaning. I opened the first bedroom door and thought it would make a nice office. It was small but had a reasonable size window overlooking the ocean. I could even live with the light blue walls. The next room was bigger, but nothing like I was used to in Indiana. I smiled to myself when I remembered that I was from Indiana and not Las Vegas. It too had a marvelous view, overlooking pine trees and also the Atlantic Ocean. The walls were a soft, subtle gray, and I loved it. One less thing to do. I noticed how rocky the yard seemed to be, and then it dawned me. I would have to mow and take care of the yard myself. At least there was a small shed to keep a lawn mower. Lawnmower? I didn’t know how to buy a lawnmower. Where do you even buy those things?

Okay so maybe I didn’t think this through all that well. I had no bed. Where was I supposed to sleep? The only furniture left in the house was a table and four chairs. The table was one of those round plastic outdoor tables with a hole running through the middle of it for an umbrella. The four plastic chairs didn’t even match. One was green, one was white, and two were brown. No couch either, this was just brilliant. I had the money, and I had planned on buying new everything. That part I was looking forward to, however, it didn’t help much at seven o’clock on a Thursday night. Food! I had no food either. I was so tired. I honestly didn’t want to go back into town, although it would have taken me a full three minutes to drive. I decided to unload my car and at least get a much needed hot shower. No. I wouldn’t be doing that either. Well I could, but I had no soap, no shampoo, no wash cloth, and not even a towel to dry on. I didn’t even have a blanket to cover up with, let alone lie on.

I unloaded what clothes that I had. Nothing was mine, not even the clothes that I was wearing. Ms. K had made me change them and put on the ones that she had gotten for me. I didn’t even take any of the expensive items from Drew. Ms. K told me not to, afraid that if I pawned them, they might be traced, and that was a chance that I wasn’t willing to take. I didn’t even get the one framed picture of my Grandma Joyce, the only person who had ever cared about me or my wellbeing. The pictures of my life after Drew could have gone up in flames, and I wouldn’t have cared.

After I had my clothes carried to the room that I would call mine, I dragged myself back out to the car. I remembered seeing a Dollar General Store back in town. At least I could get a pillow, and a couple of blankets to sleep on. I desperately wanted some bathroom supplies, and I supposed that I should go to the grocery store.

I went to the Dollar store first, that was my first mistake. By the time I had bought two hundred and twelve dollars’ worth of supplies, enough to get me through until I could go shopping the next day, the grocery store had closed. I bought a coffee pot and had no coffee for the next morning. My new adventurous beginning was not in accordance with how my mind had played it out… at all. What was I supposed to eat now? I hadn’t had anything since around noon, wanting to put the miles behind me, and just get there already. Get there, to an ugly blue house that was close to the beach, if you could get down the mountain. Get there to a house without a bed or food. Get there to a house that I had to wear my sunglasses inside because the bright yellow paint hurt my eyes.

I unloaded my new belongings. I didn’t put anything away in the bathroom. It seriously needed a good scrubbing. Why didn’t I buy cleaning supplies at the dollar store? At least I could have disinfected the tub. I used the cheap strawberries, and cream shampoo and a new washcloth to clean the tub, and then filled it with hot sudsy water. It felt sensational, and the tension that had begun to build again started to evaporate. I tried to think about my new life and making the house my home, but my mind kept drifting back to Drew. It had been four days now since I had vanished from his life. I wondered about his reaction when he realized that I had disappeared. What went through his mind when he dialed my cellphone? I didn’t even know where it was. I wondered if anyone would answer it. I knew he was probably beyond irate, and I was sure that a few things had gotten broke during his discovery.

I woke to the sun pouring in through the window. My homemade bed must have been sufficient. I slept the whole night without waking once. I didn’t waste time stretching and lingering around in bed the way that I was used to. I got straight up, brushed my teeth and pulled my long dark hair into a ponytail. I still had a hard time looking in the mirror without double taking. My hair had been blonde for the past six years, and my natural brown, seemed so distant and foreign now. My bruised cheekbone also looked better. You could barely see it once I applied the foundation.

I pulled on a pair of hand-me-down jeans and a sweatshirt. That was the part about Las, I mean Indiana that I was going to find the most difficult. It was May, and the weather was so diverse. I could handle it, had it been a bit different, but forty degrees different? Come on. Why didn’t I get a choice? I surely would have chosen a warmer climate. How were you supposed to enjoy living by a beach when you wore a continuous layer of goose bumps?

I had breakfast at Millie’s Diner. Millie herself waited on me.

“Good morning. Can I start you off with some coffee?” she asked.

“Yes. Thank you. That would be great.” I chose to sit at the bar and thumbed through a newspaper.

“Here you go sweetie. Do you need a few minutes yet?” The friendlier than I was used to lady asked.

“No. I’m ready. Could I get gravy and biscuits and two slices of bacon?”

“You sure can, coming right up.”

I read through the local paper, smiling at its size. It was a full four pages. The Vegas Sun was dictionary compared to the Misty Bay Daily News. The front page talked about the events planned for the year’s Summer Fest. There would be apple bobbing, grease pole climbing, corn hole tournaments, a wood chopping competition, and the list went on and on for the weekend long celebration. Saturday night would be no kid’s night, and it described the street dancing and wine tasting events for adults only. I flipped the page and read about the new breast milk flavored coffee at ‘Reminiscent.’ Are you kidding me? Where the hell was I going to be working? Where the hell would you even get breast milk? I kept reading and learned the benefits of breast milk coffee. I would not be trying the breast milk coffee. I was sure of that. Gross.

“Here you go honey,” Millie said, setting my plate in front of me. It looked mouthwatering. Either that or my stomach was so hungry, it would have looked mouthwatering had it been a plate of gravy and worms. It was delicious, and I am sure I ate it in record time. Millie probably thought I hadn’t eaten in weeks. She refilled my coffee cup, and I thanked her. The diner was fairly empty and had only a few people; of course it was getting kind of late for breakfast.

It was almost eleven. I hadn’t even started my long list of shopping yet, let alone the cleaning that needed to be done. I was, however, feeling a little less uneasy that morning. I had plenty of time to do it. I may not finish in the next three days, but I would be working mostly days so I would just have to work on it in the evenings after work. I was going to need something to do in order to keep my mind from thinking too much anyway.

“Is there a furniture store around here?” I asked Millie when she slid me a small strawberry Danish.

“There’s one over on Long Road. Is there something particular that you are looking for?”

I took a bite of the cheese Danish. “Hmm, this is amazing,” I told her as the warm contents of strawberry and cream cheese teased my taste buds. “I kind of need everything,” I smiled up at her.

“You bought Clara Bliss’s little cottage, didn’t you?”

Clara Bliss? How was I supposed to answer that? No. I live in a house that my grandmother left for me. That was what I was supposed to say. That’s what Ms. K told me to say. Who is Clara Bliss?

“Clara lived there up until about ten years or so ago.” Millie started to explain. I breathed a sigh of relief. “She moved to Portland to be closer to her grandchildren. The house has sat empty for a good many years. You can thank her for the lovely colors,” she winked, and it made me smile.

Shew, I didn’t have to explain anything.

“Where is Long Road? Do they have pretty much everything? Do they deliver?”

Millie laughed at my run-on sentence. I didn’t mean not to give her time to answer. I was just happy we weren’t talking about my house anymore.

“Yes. You can get furniture for every room in the house, including curtains.”

I was glad she mentioned curtains. I had neglected to add them to my long list.

“Thank you,” I said, taking a ten dollar bill from my purse. I liked Millie, and I hoped we would become friends. She was probably twenty years or more, older than me, but nonetheless she was a very nice lady.

“Can I offer you some more advice?” she asked.

“Yes, of course.”

“There is a place about fifteen miles from here called Potters. It’s a warehouse full of housewares. I am sure you could buy everything you need there, and they only sell American made,” she added, proud of that fact.

I took out a piece of paper. “Thank you, Millie. I will definitely go there. Do you know the address?”

Millie laughed a short laugh. “You don’t need an address sweetie. Turn right at the stop light and drive till you see the billboard on the left that says Potters. You can’t miss it.”

“Thank you. I better get going. I have a long day ahead of me,” I smiled and left the ten dollars on the counter, leaving her a three a dollar tip.

“Come back this evening. Tonight is meatloaf Friday,” she invited, and I left with a nod and a smile.

I knew I wouldn’t be back. I had too much to do, but I would come back and have meatloaf Friday sometime. I hadn’t had meatloaf since before my Grandma Joyce passed away.

I drove to the furniture store first. I couldn’t believe the prices. I had twenty-five thousand dollars in pre-paid visa cards to buy everything that I needed, and I wasn’t going to spend near what I thought I would. I was pleasantly surprised at the quality. The dining room table that I had picked out would have cost me probably five times as much back in Las, I mean Indiana. I ended up buying more than what was even on my list. I hadn’t planned on buying an area rug, a desk, television or coffee and end tables. I got everything that I needed for a fraction of what I had planned on spending.

I was on cloud nine, up until it was time to pay that is. I was standing at the counter, and the older man asked for my last name.

Dammit. What is it? I was drawing a blank. I had the Riley part, but the last name just wasn’t registering. I could feel my face becoming flush when I didn’t answer right away. He stood in front of me, awkwardly wondering why I wasn’t answering.

“Murphy,” I almost yelled, when it finally came to me. He gave me a funny look and turned back to his computer screen.

I finished giving him my information, and we had delivery setup for the following day. I would still have to sleep on the floor for one more night, but I was okay with that. I would much rather clean in the empty rooms than try to clean around furniture. I would at least have curtains over the windows.

I went to Potter’s next, and spent more time than I should have in there. I was so thankful that Millie had told me about it. The prices there too, surprised me, and I bought everything that I needed, and then some. I found the cutest set of dishes and couldn’t help thinking about the exquisite china back in Indiana. Drew would have never eaten off of plates like that. They were white, and although I hated the bright yellow walls back at the house, the cute little yellow ducklings circling the plates and saucers were adorable. I wondered then if I had bought everything that Drew would hate on purpose.

I was so excited. I could hardly contain myself. I had stolen, well not actually stolen, we were married. I had taken a microscopic amount of his money. Drew probably hadn’t even figured that part out yet. I honestly didn’t want anything of his. I would have walked away and slept on the floor for months had Ms. K not convinced me to take what was rightfully mine. Boy was I ever grateful that she did. Now that I think about it, she didn’t really give me a choice in the matter. I was taking the money.

Buying the house was a little more difficult. It took me almost six months to embezzle the eighty six thousand dollars that Drew would never find. I had added between fifteen and eighteen thousand dollars to different overhead expenses for six straight months. The first couple of months I was paranoid, no I was terrified that he was going to catch it, but he never did. Stupid bastard shouldn’t have been so credulous. I knew exactly where the key to his office was. It was rather simple to add bits and pieces to his overhead, donate to a made-up worthy cause, and a delightful fat scholarship, sending me to the University of Misty Bay. I had actually found a couple of ways to change things a little to save him some money, without him knowing of course.

I counted. It took me nine trips to unload my overstuffed Honda Civic. I stacked everything in the corner of the living room and would move it as needed. It took up half the room, and once again I forgot to eat. I wondered if there was a pizza delivery. Why would it even matter? I didn’t have a phonebook, and the pre-paid phone that Ms. K had given me only had seven minutes left on it. I wasn’t planning on using it, and Ms. K had already told me that we would end all contact once I had left Indiana. I was to pitch the phone out the window before I arrived.

My heart all of a sudden dropped to my feet when there was a knock on the door. Nobody knows me here. Who would be looking for me here? What did they want? I was pulled from my frozen paranoia by the second knock.

Stop it, Morg, I mean Riley. I said quietly but out loud as I made my way to the door.

“Hi. I’m Lauren. I live in the uglier than your blue house, across the road,” my new neighbor said, introducing herself.

I shook her hand. “Nice to meet you. I’m Riley, but everyone calls me Ry.” I was smiling to myself when I remembered that aspect of my new life. I had forgotten to mention that to Millie earlier.

“Wow, it looks like you have your work cut out for you,” she observed peeking around me.

I suddenly realized that I was being rude. “Come in,” I offered. “I really don’t have a seat to offer or anything to drink,” I teased.

Lauren walked through the door. “Wow, the inside paint is worse than the outside,” she stated, and I laughed. “I forgot how bright it was in here.”

She must have been in here before.

“That will be altered tonight,” I assured her.

“I have a friend that does construction if you want his number.”

“Maybe for the outside, the inside has got to be done tonight. I have furniture coming by noon tomorrow,” All of a sudden I comprehended how much I had to do and what little time I had to do it. I was happy to have a neighbor, and I thought Lauren, and I would become friends. I just didn’t want to be her friend at that moment. I had too much to do.

“Well I won’t keep you,” she said, and I was glad.

The first thing I did was fill the mop bucket with hot sudsy lemon cleaner. I smiled. The yellow paint with the citrus, lemony smell made perfect companions.

It was almost four o’clock in the evening, and I really, really wanted to get the yellow painted over before my furniture came the next day. I had planned on painting the living room as soon as the walls were washed down, but decided to go ahead and wash the kitchen down as well that way I could continue painting and get that done too.

The living room took fifty seven minutes. Five o’clock. I was hungry. Why the hell was I forgetting about food so much? Oh, yeah because I am used to having meals prepared and waiting on me. That was another one that I would have to get used to.

The kitchen had taken longer than I had anticipated because of having to clean all of the cabinets. It was now almost seven. I was still hungry. I sat on the floor leaned up against the glass door. I had already moved the ugly plastic tables and chairs out to the deck. I was eating crumbs from the bottom of a two day old Cheetos bag when someone was at the door again.

Once again my heart sank. Why didn’t I lock the door? Lauren didn’t wait for me to answer that time and opened the door, causing me to freeze in a panic.

“Relax,” she said, seeing my shocked paralyzed face and stiff posture.

I smiled when I noticed her carrying a large pizza and a six pack of beer. She had changed clothes and was now wearing old jeans with a pink checkered flannel shirt. Her strawberry blonde hair was pulled back and hiding underneath a tied bandanna.

My mouth was already salivating. Pizza, just what I needed. Not so much the beer. I had never liked beer. I was more of a wine kind of girl. No. Wait a minute. I drank wine because that was what Drew drank. Have I ever had beer? Yes. I did. I was thirteen, and some friends and I hid under a bridge, and I drank one. Did I like it? I didn’t remember.

“You are my new best friend,” I told Lauren, patting the wood floor next to me. I didn’t mind wasting twenty minutes. I needed food, and pizza was just what the doctor ordered. That would definitely make me feel better, and I would probably work faster, having some nourishment and regenerated energy.

We sat side by side, leaned against the glass doors and shared a pizza. Lauren probably thought I was a pig. I think I swallowed the first piece whole. I did drink a beer, and I didn’t mind it a bit. I wouldn’t say that I loved it, but it was okay.

“Well, we better get busy,” Lauren stated, closing the pizza box.

I looked at her with a little bit of confusion mixed with hope. “I am not going to let you help me paint,” I demanded with my head tilted.

Please help me paint, please help me paint.

“The way I see it, you don’t have a choice. I am doing nothing but sitting at my house watching reruns of Greys Anatomy. Now where are the paint pans?” she asked, and I smiled, happy that she wasn’t giving me a choice. There was one problem, however.

“Paint pans?” I asked. I hadn’t bought paint pans. I just bought paint and brushes.

“You don’t have any pans?” she asked. I shook my head.

“What about rollers?”

I shook my head again, and she laughed. “Come on. Let’s take a walk.”

She took the unlocked lock from her shed door and took the two pans with four rollers and handed them to me. “Do you have any drop clothes?” she asked.

Where was my mind? I had forgotten everything. I had never painted a day in my life. How was I supposed to know that you needed more than paint and brushes?

“Nope.” I smiled.

I was so grateful for Lauren’s help. I would have never gotten done with a paint brush. She trimmed while I rolled on the light gray paint. I liked it so much in my new room that I decided to use it in the living room, as well.

“Do you have a radio?” Lauren asked.

I ran over to my list and jotted it down along with other things that I had been remembering throughout the day. Like a microwave. How could I forget that?

“I am going to run home and do number two and get us one,” she announced. I laughed out loud at the number two comment. I actually laughed and if felt great. Could this truly be happening? Could I really pull this off and not be found? My thoughts were all over the place, and Lauren was back disrupting them ten minutes later.

“Everything come out okay?” I teased.

“Do you really want me to elaborate on that?” she provoked right back. I shook my head. Nope, didn’t need to hear that.

Lauren turned the radio to a country station. I hated country music. Brakes. Wait a minute. Drew hated country music. I had never actually listened to it. How could I hate it if I had never even listened to it?

“Where’re you from?” Lauren asked as we painted and listened to something about somebody digging their keys into the side of somebody’s souped-up four-wheel drive.

“Indiana,” I remembered.

“What part? I have a cousin in Indiana.”

And the questions begin. “Carson,” I answered with only that.

“What brought you to Misty Bay? I know you didn’t come all the way here just to work with Starlight Scarlett in her weird little coffee shop.”

“Now you’re scaring me,” I stated, hoping to get off topic.

She laughed. “You will absolutely love Starlight. She is as Bohemian as they come. I just know that you didn’t move to this sectarian town for that purpose,” she assumed.

“Are you calling this town a cult?”

“Are you going to avoid my question all night?” she retorted with her own question.

I smiled down at her from my step stool, which thank God she owned too. “I lost my job when they downsized, and my grandmother left me this house. I just decided it was time for a change.” I lied, hitting it right on the money. I smiled inside, proud that I remembered until I saw the look on her face. She knew I was lying. She knew my grandmother didn’t leave me this house.

“If we’re going to be friends, you can’t lie to me,” she said being exceedingly blunt. “My aunt owned this house up until last month. She owns mine too. That’s why they are both ugly blue.”

I walked down the step stool to face her. “Lauren, please don’t ask me too many questions about my past. I am not running from the law or anything like that. I just need to keep a low profile,” I tried to reassure her.

“Well, you need a better story,” she said, turned and started painting again. “People around here know that my aunt has owned these two houses for years.”

Thanks a lot, Ms. K. Nice investigating skills.

“I’ve got it,” she stated matter-of-fact. I looked down at her with a peculiar stare. Why would she be so zealous about helping me? I didn’t get it.

“How old are you?” she asked, again bluntly.

“I will be twenty five next month. Why?”

“Perfect,” she alleged while I continued to look at her like she had two heads. “We went to college together, and when you lost your job, I told you about my aunt’s house, and you bought it,” Lauren exclaimed excited. “You didn’t tell anyone else the grandma story, did you?”

I shook my head.

I was happy that Lauren stopped asking questions, and we talked and talked while the room was being transformed into a whole new domicile. We painted the living room and kitchen with the light gray almost silver tone paint. The wall around the French doors and the front door were painted in a darker shade of gray, and I, without question, loved it. I tried to get Lauren to quit and go home just before midnight, but she wouldn’t. I was glad that she didn’t.

She washed all of the new dishes and put them away while I hung curtains. The only thing left to do was clean the hardwood floors and wash down the two bedroom walls. I could do that the following morning. The furniture wouldn’t arrive until around noon.

“I’m done.” I stated. I couldn’t go anymore. My energy was gone, and my body was telling me that it had enough. “I can’t thank you enough, Lauren,” I told her, and I couldn’t. I would have never gotten that much done without her, let alone trying to do it with limited tools.

“Yes, you can. You can thank me by going in there and getting some clean clothes and coming home with me. I have an extra bed.”

“I’m fine here, but thank you just the same.”

“I insist. If I leave, you are going to continue to work, and I can tell that you are exhausted. Now move it.”

I smiled at her. We just met, and she already knew my intentions. I was already thinking that I could get the walls washed before I went to bed. “I’m going to grab a shower, and I’ll be over.”

“Promise me.”

“I promise.”

I didn’t wonder anymore why Lauren had picked the house on the other side of the road, rather than the one by the ocean. Her house was quite a bit bigger. She had it decorated with modern décor. The walls were like mine and painted two-toned but with beige and chocolate brown. There was a black and white, female country music singer hanging behind the couch. I knew I had seen the woman before, but couldn’t tell you her name.

“You play?” I asked, eyeing the guitar on the couch.

“Yeah, I mess around a little,” she said, modestly.

She was dressed in flannel pants and a t-shirt just like me. She yawned and showed me to her spare bedroom. It was a queen sized bed with a fluffy green comforter. I couldn’t wait to crawl into it.

I lay in bed and stared out at a branch blowing back and forth in the window. I had a million and one thoughts going through my mind, and they wouldn’t seem to settle. I thought about decorating my new house and making it my own. That thought led to the mansion that I had just fled from. My whole house was the size of my suite there, but already it was more inviting than the ice cold castle. That thought led me to thoughts of Drew, and I betted that he had at least five P.I.’s looking for me.

Would he find me? Was there any way that he could trace my whereabouts? I wondered what my friend Jena had told him. She knew nothing. I made sure of it. She had no idea where I was either. I talked to her the night before I had disappeared, and we even talked about the weekend charity event that we would attend, tomorrow. I wondered if Drew was sly enough to report me missing. I had made my intentions perfectly clear with my short, to the point, note, informing him that I hoped he rotted in hell. It was a good possibility that he never even found the note. I had typed in my e-reader. I told him not to try to find me, but I knew that was like pissing in the wind. He had everyone he knew on it, and then some.

I thought I had covered my tracks well enough though. I didn’t once talk to Ms. K on my cell or the house phone. The only telephone that I had ever used to call her was the pre-paid one that she had given me, and once from Drew’s desk phone, but that was months ago. He made so many calls from that phone he would never put it together, not to mention I didn’t even know Ms. K’s name. All she would ever give me was Ms. K.

Chapter 2

I woke later than I had wanted to. I had so much to get done yet, and here I was still in bed at almost nine. I wasn’t sure what time the exhaustion had finally won, and I fell asleep, but I did feel rested. I walked out to Lauren’s living room, and it was empty. Her bedroom door was opened, so I peeked in, it was empty too. Maybe she had to work.

I walked down the hall and took in the portraits down the left side of the wall. I knew that Lauren had a much better childhood than I had. There were several pictures of her and her sister, I assumed. They both had the strawberry blonde hair and were built with the same short but not too short build. There were two other pictures of the two girls and their parents. I presumed that Lauren was the older of the two by the graduation picture.

I slipped on my flip-flops and walked across the road to my own house. My own house, I said, smiling to myself again. Panic struck once more when I noticed my front door open. I relaxed almost immediately the closer I got. I could hear the country music playing.

I looked in the smaller bedroom, and it was empty, but the walls had been washed, curtains hung, and the wood floor shined. I laughed when I heard Lauren singing something about having friends in low places. She was singing in a deep voice, not her own I was sure. I opened the door with a grin.

“What on earth are you doing?” I asked, seeing her on the floor with a bottle of Murphy’s oil soap and a rag. The curtains were hung there too, and I loved them. The white curtains with the black, willow tree pattern accented the gray walls perfectly.

“Sorry, I hope you don’t mind. I am used to getting up at four in the morning for work. I was up by five and didn’t want to wake you.”

“You should have woken me,” I claimed. “What on earth do you do that you have to get up at four in the morning?”

“Lauren and Levi,” she said. Like I knew what that meant.

“Uh?”

“Oh, sorry I forgot. You’re not from around here, Lauren and Levi in the morning. I’m a radio host.”

“Really? You talk on the radio?” I asked, intrigued. “Now I know I have to go buy a radio.”

“Yup, I work from five am to one pm.”

“I bet it’s country too, right?” I smiled.

She didn’t answer and only looked up with a smile. “I brought coffee over if you want a cup.”

“I do, but I want you to stop this, and come and drink one with me.”

We sat on the deck overlooking the ocean and drank our coffee. I was so glad that Lauren was my neighbor. I loved her already. I wondered why there was no man, or was there? I should probably wait until I know her a little better before I ask.

“Are you divorced yet?” Lauren asked, breaking my thoughts about her love life.

I looked at her with a pensive expression, holding my cup to my lips.

“Relax, will you already?” she requested. “You have a tan line around your finger.”

I looked at my finger. Sure enough, she was right. I wondered if makeup would cover that for a few days or weeks. How long does it take to get rid of wedding ring evidence?

“I have never been married,” I said with a warning look. She laughed.

“Yeah right, okay, Ms. Mystery, but let me inform you, I will eventually gain your trust and you will confess all of your deep dark secrets to me. Your skeletons will be bowing at my feet. ”

I looked at her with a serious expression. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, Lauren.”

“I’m joking, Riley”

I smiled at her. “How the hell am I supposed to get down to the beach from here?” I asked, wanting off of the subject of me.

“There’s a path. I’ll show you, but right now we have floors to clean.” She stood and patted my knee.

By eleven o'clock, we were finished. I couldn’t sit still. I was noticeably hyper and wanted my delivery, now.

Lauren showed me the path to get to the beach. It was rather steep and rocky, but nothing that I couldn’t handle. I should have my house all together by the next day, and planned to venture down there and explore my new surroundings.

Lauren never left me. She stayed until five in the evening until the last picture was hung on the wall. I loved it, and I loved her. My house was complete, and I only needed to go shopping for a few odds and ends that I had forgotten. Food! Yes. I had to do that. If I forgot to get food one more day, I was going to turn myself into a crazy house.

I hugged Lauren before she left and thanked her again.

“I don’t like mushy friends,” she teased with a warning look. “You are more than welcome. Oh yeah, what’s your cell number?” she asked, pulling hers from her back jeans pocket.

“I don’t have one,” I said, and she cocked her head.

“There is a Radio Shack right beside ‘Reminiscent,’ where you will be working. You should probably have a phone.”

“I am not sure I want one just yet. I think that I should wait a while.”

“Afraid of being found?” she asked. I wasn’t about to answer that one. She left shaking her head as she skipped across my yard. My yard, I smiled.

I showered and was bouncing off the walls as I entered my new living room. I couldn’t wait to lie on the black comfy leather sofa and watch a movie. That was my plans for that Saturday night. I was going to the grocery store first, not about to get sidetracked or forget that again. Then I was going to rent a movie or two and come back, lie on my couch and eat spaghetti. I loved spaghetti and Drew had hated it. The only time I would get it was when he took me to ‘Trattoria da Cesare,’ a famous Italian restaurant on Las Vegas Boulevard, I mean Carson Boulevard. I giggled to myself and felt like a giddy little teenager.

I was home by eight, listening to my new radio and country music as I chopped the needed ingredients for my spaghetti. I wondered what Lauren was doing. I should invite her over for spaghetti. I wished I could call her. I looked out the front door, and there were no lights on. She wasn’t home. I went out to the back deck and gazed out at the moon over the ocean. For the first time in an awful long time I felt light-hearted and had a new sense of calm.

I would never again worry about what kind of mood Drew was going to be in when he got home. I would never again worry about focusing on what I could do to improve myself so that I didn’t set him off. I would focus on me for the first time in my life. I clasped my hands together and pressed them to my lips, almost as if I were praying and thanking God for my courage to do what I had done, and be where I was standing. I truly was grateful.

My new sense of being was shattered once again when I heard the loud knock on the door. Would I ever get used to this? Would I ever be able to breathe and not think that it was someone there to get me?

I looked out and saw Lauren. She pushed herself in carrying a bag and busily started talking as she removed its contents.

“So, I figured I might as well get this myself. It was pretty obvious that you were not going to,” she said handing me the new cellphone. “You have to have a phone, Riley,” she assured me.

“Lauren, I can’t accept this.” I tried to hand it back.

“Hmm, this looks good,” she said, sticking her finger in my homemade sauce, ignoring me.

“Lauren!”

“Look, Riley. I don’t know what your story is, and I am not going to pry. If you ever need to talk I am here, and you never have to worry about me saying anything to anyone. Even if you never tell me your story, you still need a phone. It’s pretty clear that you are afraid of having a phone in your name, so I put it on my plan. I am not giving you anything. The phone was free to add a line, and you can pay me the monthly thirty five dollar payment. Okay?”

How could I argue with that? Why was she, so hell bent on being nice to me? Not that I was complaining, it just felt sort of superficial. No. Stop it, Morg, I mean, Ry, not everyone has a motive.

“Thank you, Lauren. Would you like to stay for supper?”

“No, but I want leftovers tomorrow. I kind of have a visitor that I need to get back to. I put my number in your phone already, in case you need anything. I’m leaving before you hug me again.”

I laughed and watched her walk back to her house. There was a guy building a fire off to the side of her house. I watched as he wrapped her in his arms and kissed her. I wondered who he was and if he was her boyfriend.

I finally sat down to enjoy my spaghetti and the movie ‘Wanderlust with Jennifer Aniston.’ I couldn’t contain my nosiness and peeked through the crack in the curtains across the yard every now and then. I watched Lauren lead her friend into her house by the hand around eleven. She probably wouldn’t tell me about him unless I asked. I wouldn’t, I mean, it wasn’t like I was sharing any part of my life with her.

I slept like a baby in my new bed but woke a little too early, thanks to Lauren. I reached for my new cellphone on the nightstand and read the new text.

“You up?”

“I am now,” I answered.

“Make coffee, I’m on my way over.”

Okay. I said out loud, forcing myself out of bed. I didn’t even have time to completely finish peeing before she was knocking on my door.

“Good morning,” she said, way too happy. I glanced at the clock, and it was only eight. I wasn’t sure I liked her much anymore. She walked past me and started the coffee herself.

“I’m going to brush my teeth,” I said and left her alone. When I returned she was in my refrigerator, retrieving the leftover spaghetti.

“Want some?”

“No. Help yourself.” I sarcastically replied.

I sat on my new sofa, and she talked. Not about anything particular, she was just rattling on about this and that. I sleepily listened and wished I had slept another hour while she warmed up my leftovers.

“What are you doing today?” she asked, pushing my feet off the couch so that she could sit.

There is a chair right there.

“I want to walk down to the beach. Other than that, I guess I don’t have any. Why?”

“I bowl on Sunday afternoon. Wanna come?” she asked, sucking spaghetti through her lips.

“No. I don’t think so, but thanks.”

“Come on, Riley, it’s fun. I will introduce you to some of my friends.”

“I will, Lauren, just not today.”

“Okay.” she replied, and I was glad that she didn’t insist. I certainly wasn’t up for meeting new people yet.

I dressed in a pair of dark blue wind pants with two small white stripes, and a white cotton shirt, unbuttoned overtop of a red t-shirt. I was definitely going shopping for new clothes. Yes. I did once wear worse than what I had now, but I had gotten used to the designer clothing that was a vital part of my life for the past six years. Somewhere in-between this and that would be good, I decided as I tied the also used sneakers. I felt ashamed of myself. I shook my head in disbelief of wearing someone else’s shoes. There was a time in my life that my toes cramped, curled in the only shoes that I had to wear, probably two sizes too small.

I started down the path, holding onto the boulders as I made my way to the beach. This was surely not what I had pictured when I thought about living by the beach. From what I had seen so far, there was no beach. I climbed and maneuvered my way through the sarsens. Some of the spaces between the rocks were barely wide enough to squeeze through. It was probably a good thing that I was required to keep in shape. Finally, I was in the clearing. I moaned a disgusted breath when I saw that the large peak that I had been looking at from my deck, didn’t allow room for walking. The only way I would be able to walk north was sprint while the tide gave maybe a foot of wet sand. I would do it, just not that day. I chose instead to walk south. The beach was nice, and I decided that I had found my new favorite place when in a distance I witnessed a pirate ship. I knew that it wasn’t a real pirate ship, but with the many sails, it could have passed as one. The windjammer was moving away from the lighthouse on a peak in the distance.

I sat on a hard rock and pulled my knees to my chest. The air was crisp, but the sun warmed my face, and felt invigorating as I contemplated living there. I closed my eyes and breathed the sea air and the suns heat into my lungs. I was here. I did it, and I was never looking back. My meditation was interrupted when a friendly yellow lab barked and placed his paws on the rock that I was perched on.

“Hello there,” I said, petting him. I looked up to see where his owner was. There was an older gentleman walking toward me with a smile and a crooked stick in one hand.

“Sorry about that,” he said as he approached lifting his walking stick and poking it into the sand with every step. I noticed that he walked with a limp and assumed the stick was for support.

“Oh, it’s okay. I think he just wanted to say hi,” I said, sliding from the rock.

“I’m John Hunter. I live about a mile north of here,” he explained pointing to the peak with his stick.

“I’m Riley,” I offered, omitting my last name. I forgot it again, but just for a second. “I live right up there,” I pointed, kind of in the right direction. He didn’t need to know which house. You live on the other side of the peak?” I asked, wondering how he got around it.

“Yup, you have about three hours of sand before the ocean takes it back. This hour and two more,” he smiled.

“Thanks. I will remember that.” I bent to pick up a piece of sea glass that the sun had radiated on, catching my eye. I wiped it with my thumb, feeling the smooth surface.

“Purple,” John said, admiring the sea glass, “extremely uncommon. May I?” he asked, reaching for my sea glass find.

I handed it over to him and asked, “Why is purple uncommon?”

“Well, believe it or not, it started out as clear glass, used in a variety of applications from beverage bottles, food containers, decorative tableware, door knobs, and more. It could have even come from an old car windshield,” he explained and handed it back. “Wanna know something else?”

“Sure,” I replied.

“A purple sea glass find is considered to bring good luck. You should make a necklace or bracelet out of it,” he added.

Good luck? I could use that.

“Come on boy,” he called to his wandering dog. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Riley,” he nodded and went about his walk.

I spent two hours on the beach, looking for more sea glass. I didn’t find any more. My stomach began to remind me that it needed fed, and I walked back up the path. Going down was a lot easier than getting back up.

I didn’t see Lauren again that day. I was starting to get a little antsy about starting my new job the next day. I made myself hotdogs and french-fries for supper and felt a little sneaky about it. Drew would have never eaten a hotdog. I also watched reality T.V, something else that Drew refused to watch. I seriously needed to stop doing things just because Drew would hate them, but it did make me feel like I was twisting the knife just a little, which made me smile.

I had a hard time falling asleep, and when I finally did, I woke to a pounding heart and sweating profusely. My dream was so real, and it took me several minutes to calm myself down and convince my conscious that it wasn’t real, and I was fine.

I walked to the kitchen and got a drink of water, still trying to forget the dream. It was early morning, and I watched Lauren leave for work. Rather than going back to bed like I needed to, I ran a hot tub of water and tried to relax. I really needed to stop thinking about Drew. I was not Morgan Kelley. I was Riley Murphy, and Drew Kelley would never hurt me again. This was my life. I was not Drew Kelley’s wife. I had my own life, and I could now live it however, I pleased.

I honestly did just think I could walk away and forget the past twenty five years of my life. Needless to say, it wasn’t working, just yet. Maybe I did need to seek counseling. Ms. K had suggested it. No. I don’t need counseling. I just need to focus on my future and not my past. I can do this. I closed my eyes and breathed in the steam from the hot water, giving myself the much needed pep talk.

I made coffee and turned the radio station to Z-103. I sat on my new sofa and listened to Lauren and this guy, Levi. I was actually laughing. They had a psychic on the show, and people were calling in to find out how old they would be when they died. I laughed out loud when one caller was telling the two how much she enjoyed their show. She explained that she only had one complaint, and as soon as she said it, Lauren hung up on her, saying their egos wouldn’t handle complaints.

I was overly impressed with their morning show and was even starting to like the country music that they had played. That was until they played a song by Shania Twain, ‘Black eyes and blue tears,’ something about no more excuses, no more crying in the corner and no more bruises. As soon as the country singer wailed out begging, please no more, I jumped up and turned off the radio. It was just too close to home, and my scars were still too raw to cope with the words.

I searched through my closet to find something to wear to work. What the hell do you wear to a coffee slash hippy store? How do the two even go together? I decided on a pair of dark jeans that didn’t quite fit. They could have been a size smaller. I was definitely going shopping my next day off. I wore a plaid, green and white shirt and tucked it into my jeans, hoping maybe to use up some of the slack. I brushed out my shoulder length hair and pulled just the top back, leaving one strand to fall around my face.

I was nervous as I parked my car in the back alley where I was told to park. I saw the back door, but wondered if I should I use the front door my first day. I didn’t have to decide when Starlight came out with a bag of trash.

“Good morning,” she said with a happy smile.

Starlight wore a long flowing skirt with sandals and a sixties looking shirt with some sort of Indian design, and long flowing sleeves.

“Good morning,” I smiled back.

Starlight shook my hand, and the first thing that I noticed was the peace sign tattoo between her thumb and forefinger.

“Well, come on in,” she exclaimed and I followed her in.

The door opened to a storage room with boxes and boxes of I had no idea what. I looked in the first door as we passed. It was an extremely messy office with stacks and stacks of papers. This could be a problem with my OCD. Everything had a place, and I couldn’t even blame that one on Drew. Even when I lived at home growing up, the dump that we occupied was as clean as the place would allow. Maybe I tried to make it better than what I knew it could ever be, but for some reason it had always stuck with me.

“You can throw your purse in here,” Starlight stopped at the office door. “Just remember where you put it. Things seem to come up missing in here,” she joked, and I raised my eyebrows.

I wonder why.

We walked out to the front, and there was a counter with a register and too much junk. Oh boy, I thought, wondering if I could handle the mess. The part of the store on the far side was supposed to be the coffee shop. The part by the register was the hippy shop. Or something. I hadn’t quite figured out what she had going on in all of the chaos just yet. There was everything you could think of including a big glass bong displayed in a glass case. No wonder she was so happy.

“Go ahead, look around,” Starlight gestured with her hand.

I noticed three older gentlemen at a table in front of the window, drinking coffee and arguing about what year some bridge had been built. I thumbed through the shirts and pants rack and then moved over to the shelves. Starlight had every kind of tea imaginable. There were shelves of little figurines, and I had already fallen in love with a miniature little boy in jean overalls rolled up to his knees and holding onto two little puppies as they licked his cinched face.

“Would you like some coffee?” Starlight asked.

“Sure,” I replied and hoped she wasn’t going to offer me the breast milk.

I followed her over to the coffee bar and was relieved when she asked me what my flavor was.

“French vanilla?” I said in more of a question, wondering if she had it.

“The best,” she answered, and she was right. It was the richest coffee I had ever tasted.

I wondered why she would hire me to work there, after only seeing three customers stopping into get coffee after three hours. I didn’t think she could have that much business to pay me. I got my answer around three o’clock when she decided that she should show me how to order the teas and coffees.

“Come on,” she said and I followed her to her confusing office. “We only have a week to get you up to speed before I leave.”

“Leave?”

“Yeah, I am flying to Australia for few weeks. I usually just close the place up, but my usual patrons are getting pretty tired of me just closing up and leaving. Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. Truck comes in on Tuesday. I will show you how to keep the coffee machines going. Saturday mornings are pretty crazy in here, but the good news is, you only have to ring them up. They get their own coffee. Phyllis brings pastries from her bakery on Saturdays and Millie brings the best deli sandwiches ever on Wednesday afternoons. That empty cold case by the counter is where you will put them. We always sell out of them or pretty close to it anyway.”

“If the pastries and deli sandwiches do so well, why don’t you sell them every day?” I asked, curious.

“Nah, that’s too much work, besides I don’t want people hanging out in here every day,” she teased.

I did like Starlight and Lauren was right, the lady was as Bohemian as you could get. I don’t think the devil could have pissed her off.

***

I was slowly beginning to relax and fall deeply in love with my new life. I would almost say I had a delightful routine going. Wake up and laugh to Lauren and Levi in the morning, laugh some more with Starlight during the day, drink too much coffee, eat dinner with Lauren, and walk on the beach. By the end of the week I knew everything that I needed to know to be able to keep the shop up and running, not that any monkey couldn’t learn it, but still. I liked my job other than the fact that it needed a good cleaning which I was planning to talk to Starlight about that day, her last day with me. I didn’t want to step on her toes, but come on, I didn’t know how in the world she kept her books up with the mess in the office.

It was well into the afternoon when I finally worked up the nerve to ask.

“Starlight, I was wondering if it would be okay if I done some cleaning and organizing while you were away,” I asked, really fast. I always had a problem with asking for things, even growing up, and it was worse with Drew. He always made me earn it one way or another. Why was my heart beating so fast? It wasn’t like I asked to remodel the place or anything. The worse thing that could happen was she would say no.

“Honey, you do whatever you want to do here. I don’t plan to spend much time here, now that I have you. You’re going to be running the joint, so make it your home.”

I smiled, relieved as I relaxed.

Friday was the busiest day I had seen since I had started. I sold some of the clothing articles to some high school girls and some of the Indian figurines to some tourist. The coffee had to be replenished throughout the day and we opened up one of the boxes in the back and restocked the shelves with figurines.

“Where do you get these?” I asked Starlight, unwrapping a family of picnicking figurines.

“I go to this trade show in Las Vegas twice a year. I will take you some time. It’s the coolest thing ever.”

My heart sped up at the mention of Las Vegas. I wouldn’t be going anywhere near that trade show.

“How do you get the things here?” I asked.

“They ship it to me after the show.”

“There isn’t a website to just order the things?”

Starlight shrugged her shoulders as she continued to unpack the little knickknacks. “Maybe, but the trade show is too much fun for that,” she smiled at me.

Starlight showed me where to find the petty cash, once she remembered where it was herself. She explained that I could use anything from the storeroom that I wanted and to replenish the shelves with whatever I wanted. I was looking forward to getting my hands on the rat race.

Lauren and I ate the meatloaf special for supper at Millie’s, and it reminded of my Grandma Joyce’s. We got the warm apple pie for dessert and then I let her talk me into going to the town bar. I had never been to a bar in my life. I’d been to elaborate restaurants and fancy clubs, but never to a bar. I didn’t want to go to a bar. I just wanted to go home to my little house, sit on my deck and gaze at the beautiful sky overlooking the ocean.

“Come on, please,” she begged.

I acquiesced, against my will. Why not? I had done things against my will my entire life, at least Lauren had my best interest at heart, sort of.

It was just a small bar with an old wooden floor, but the place was hopping, and packed to the gill. There was a band playing toward the right with an area cleared for dancing. A nice looking guy waved us over and we sat at the table with him right in front of the guy singing something about a long black train.

“This is Joel, Riley,” Lauren introduced the guy and then he kissed her.

I wondered if this was the same guy that had spent the night with her the weekend before. Another guy joined us, and she introduced him as Levi. It was nice to put a face with the voice. We were both brought beers. I took my wallet from my purse and Levi put his hand over mine.

“You are offending me, put that away,” he demanded.

I jerked my hand away, not realizing that I did it with so much conviction.

“Whoa,” he stated, putting both hands in the air.

“Sorry,” I said and noticed the puzzled look on Lauren’s face over my reaction. “Thank you,” I said and turned my attention to the singer on stage.

Can someone say…Idiot?

I kept my attention on the stage, not knowing how to act around people. I felt like such an outsider, and didn’t know what I should or shouldn’t say. The two men and Lauren did all of the talking, and although they did try to include me, it was awkward for me. I was never allowed to speak when I went out with Drew. He was afraid that I would embarrass him or myself, so I played the pretty obedient wife and stood to his side. I noticeably shook my head, trying to rid the thoughts of my memories of being in the presence of Drew.

Lauren stood and made me follow her to the bathroom. There was only one stall in the bathroom, and we waited outside the door for it to be unoccupied.

“What is your deal, girlfriend?” Lauren asked.

I feigned ignorance. “What do you mean?”

“Haven’t you seen Levi staring at you? He likes you, and you haven’t even noticed. You’re off in some other time.”

I groaned. I didn’t want Levi to look at me. I didn’t want Levi to like me. I didn’t want Levi to do anything. I wasn’t interested in Levi. “I just don’t think I like being here very much, Lauren. I have never been to a bar.”

“You’re joking,” she implied as the door opened and she pulled me in with her.

Lauren dropped her pants and immodestly used the toilet, holding herself up from sitting on the seat.

“I think I am going to take off. I have to open the shop in the morning for the first time by myself.”

“Ry, it’s only nine o’clock. You’re just going to go home and sit by yourself.”

“I’m okay with that,” I assured her, trying not to look at her squatted on the toilet. I was okay with that. I was used to spending my time alone.

“You can’t tell me that you don’t think Levi is cute.”

“Lauren, please don’t try and fix me up with anyone. I don’t want anyone, okay?” I pleaded.

“Okay. If you really want to go, I will get a ride with Joel.”

“So, are you going to tell me about Joel? Was he your company last weekend?” I asked, not wanting to talk about me and my hang-ups with men at the time.

“I guess we are monogamous. He works on the oil rigs all week and is only home on the weekends, best kind of man to have,” she added, teasing.

I didn’t go back to the table with Lauren. She was giving me an easy out, and I was taking it. She gave me her keys, and I drove her jalopy of a car back to her house. I thought my ninety three Honda was bad, that thing was running on one cylinder.

I didn’t leave the porch light on, not knowing that I was going to be out past dark. I walked across the road to my house after parking Lauren’s car, and my heart begun to beat in rapid thumps again. I hated being frightened all the time. There is nothing in there, Morgan, I said out loud and then shook my head at calling myself Morgan. I unlocked the door and pushed it, standing on the porch, peering in. I reached my arm around to the side and flipped on the light without entering. I shook my head again at how silly I was being.

I lay in my comfortable bed and stared up at the ceiling. Would I ever be normal again, wait, have I even ever been normal? What exactly defines normal? My mind drifted to my childhood, and that too, I was sure was as anomalous as imaginable. My Grandma Joyce was probably the most usual person from that time of my life. There were a few things that she had told me that were probably not the healthiest things to be telling a little girl.

I remembered sitting on the front porch of her one room cabin and listening to the stories of her childhood and living through the hard times on the mountain. She had always told me that no matter how bad I thought that I had it, somebody else always had it worse. I am not sure that was possible, but then again, I’m sure it is. I could have been born a lot worse off than I was, I suppose.

I thought about little Justin, although I am sure he’s not so little anymore. He had been put into foster care almost seven years ago. He would be twelve years old this summer. I hoped he was adopted and had a good life. I hated the thought of him being strung about from foster home to foster home. I hated my mother for so long for leaving us and forcing him to live that life, then again my dad could have kept it from happening if he wanted to. I couldn’t imagine choosing my alcohol over my son. My mother, I could almost forgive. I said almost. I still hated her for not taking us with her, even though I could understand her running away from her life of hell.

I was raised in the Appalachian Mountains, a small town in West Virginia where poverty is real, and still exists to this day. I was raised to believe that you grew up, signed up for welfare, and had lots of babies so that you could get more welfare and more food stamps. That was normal, and then after moving to Las Vegas and living the life of luxury that became my normal. Now, well, now this was normal.

I finally drifted off to sleep, thinking about the two bedroom trailer, and my home from the time that I was born until my eighteenth birthday. The dream was so real this time, not that I didn’t say that every time that I woke in a panic, but this one was worse.

I was huddled up to the only heat source in the house. The wood stove was barely throwing off any heat. I tried to bring some wood in, but it was frozen, and my fingers weren’t strong enough to pull any of the pieces apart. It was late, and my dad wasn’t home from the bar yet. Justin was no longer there, so I had to be at least seventeen. I sat with a blanket leaned against the stove with my back. The metal was barely warm, and I knew that it would be completely burned out within the hour.

It was the first time that my dad ever hit me, besides being whipped by his belt anyway. The first time was the very first time that he had come home in a drunken stupor after my mom had left us. I guess it was my responsibility to fill her shoes. I heard the old truck pull into the drive and I ran to my room, wrapped in my blanket. He started yelling as soon as he opened the door and realized the fire was almost out.

“Morgan! Get your stupid ass out here.”

I didn’t move. I hoped that he would think that I was asleep and just leave me alone. He didn’t.

“If you’re not out here by the time I count to three, I am going to beat you to a pulp.”

Although I knew he was going to do it anyway, whether I went then or ten minutes later. I walked out. He slapped me across the face, not giving me time to explain that I had tried to bring wood in. I could handle the slaps in the face. I would have chosen those over the sound of his leather belt being pulled from his belt loops any day.

I could feel the burning stings on the backs of my legs and my back when I woke, out of breath and panting like an overheated dog. I grasped my nightgown at my chest, and squeezed the material in a tight fist, trying to tell my heart that it was okay, and I was safe in my own home in Maine. I brushed the damp hair from my forehead and got out of bed. It was too early to be awake, and I knew I needed to sleep, but I couldn’t. I was too freaked out. I made a cup of hot tea. Starlight had given it to me the day before when she had told me that I looked tired. She said that it was a relaxing tea and would help me sleep. I dozed back off on the sofa, wrapped in the fuzzy warm blanket from the back of the couch. I woke to the sound of my alarm going off in my room.

I yawned, still tired as I drove the short drive into town. I parked my car in the back and unlocked the door. I had no sooner gotten the first coffee machine brewing when I jumped, startled at the tap on the door. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the town sheriff, smiling at the door, remembering Starlight telling me that he hung out there on Saturday mornings.

“Good morning,” he said, stepping in as I unlocked the door for him, “Didn’t mean to startle you,” he added.

“Good morning,” I returned, and continued to get the five machines up and running. “I guess I am not quite as fast as Starlight,” I said as he sat at one of the small tables.

“Actually, I’m a little early this morning. You’re fine,” he assured me.

Phyllis showed up with the pastries next.

“Morning, Sheriff,” she spoke, placing the goodies on the counter.

“Good morning, Phyllis. Please tell me you brought those little raspberry filled Danishes today.”

“You’re in luck, I did,” she smiled.

Phyllis didn’t stick around and had to get going to open her own little shop.

“Coffee is ready,” I said to the sheriff, not turning to look at him.

I walked behind the counter with my own cup of coffee, and he poured himself a cup.

“My name is Dawson, by the way,” he said stirring the cream into his coffee.

I snickered a little on accident.

His eyebrows rose as he looked at me. I felt my face blush from embarrassment.

“What?” he asked, and my face became even redder. I was sure of it.

“I’m Riley,” I said, trying to smooth over my dreadful outburst.

“Nice to meet you, Riley. Why are you laughing at me?”

I couldn’t help but laugh again. “I wasn’t laughing at you. I was just thinking how much your name fits your job description. You know, sheriff in a small town by the name of Dawson.”

He laughed too and sat down with his pastry and coffee.

“So what brings you to this small town, Riley?” he asked, and I didn’t want to answer questions for a cop. I hated intimidating men, not that all men weren’t intimidating to me, just some more so than others, and a uniformed man with a gun was one of the others.

“I’m not sure I have figured that out myself yet, sheriff,” I said, and busied myself wiping down the counter in front of me.

I wished someone else would come in, preferably the same sex as me.

He snorted. “You can call me Dawson,” he said, and I blushed again. What the hell is wrong with me?

I only smiled and pretended to be busy. He read his paper, and I was happy to see the three older men that seemed to drink my coffee faster than I could make it, come in for their morning cup of Joe. I knew them by name because Starlight had told me, and although they were all exceptionally friendly, they never really spoke to me. I think that is why I liked them so much.

I was getting a little nervous when another group of men came in, pouring coffee and eating the pastries. How the hell was I supposed to remember who ate what, and how much to charge each of the five construction workers? I was now alone with nine men, and for absolutely no reason I felt extremely uneasy.

I was never so happy in my life to see Lauren come bouncing in. She got a cup of coffee and sat on the stool behind the counter with me.

“I almost commented on you being up so early, but I forgot that you rise with the chickens every morning,” I smiled.

She licked the strawberry filling from her pastry. “I have always gotten up with the chickens. My dad used to deliver the newspaper, and I was forced to get out of bed at five in the morning to learn some responsibility,” she explained.

I laughed. “How did that work out for you?”

“Well, I suck with my money, and I tend to do things on a whim without thinking them through, but I did inherit his inability to sleep once the sun came up.”

I left Lauren to replenish the one coffee machine that the men seemed to be the fondest of. Of course it was the plain old black coffee without any flavoring.

“What are you doing after work?” Lauren asked.

Oh, no. I am not going to any more bars with you.

“I am going shopping for some clothes,” I answered.

“Really? Where you going?”

“I’m not sure. I was hoping there was something more around here than the dollar general store.”

“There isn’t. We have to go into Blain for that. They have a really nice mall. I’ll go with you.”

I laughed at her audacity but was really quite envious of it.

Chapter 3

By noon the coffee shop had cleared out, and I found myself bored. I was anxious to get started on the much needed organization of the store, but decided to wait until Monday to tackle it. I was still getting traffic and was busier than any day that I had been there.

Lauren and I went into the much bigger town and shopped. I realized going from store to store that I had never in my life shopped for myself. When I was growing up, I wore hand me downs and things from the local church or Salvation Army. After I married Drew, my shopping was done for me, and I never got to pick anything out for myself.

I felt extremely joyful when I picked out new socks. I had spent the last six years in pantyhose or thigh high stockings. I wasn’t allowed to wear socks. They weren’t attractive enough. I was even excited about the cute little cotton panties. If I was allowed to wear panties with Drew they had to be sexy, lacy thongs that I hated.

I stood in front of the rack with my hand on the underwear with tiny pink flowers as my mind once again drifted back in time.

Thank God, Lauren pulled my thoughts away rather quickly when she noticed I was off in another land again.

“Maybe if you talk about it, it might help,” she said, touching my hand and bringing me back to the present.

I shook my head. “Sorry, I’m fine,” I lied to her and myself.

“I’m going to carry my bags in and I will be over with some beer,” Lauren said, once we were in my driveway.

I took the tags from my five new outfits and ran my hand across the leather of my new hiking boots. I thought they would support my ankles a little better when I climbed down the rocky terrain to the beach. I would have rather it been a flip-flop kind of beach, but it wasn’t, and I was starting to like it just fine the way it was. I sat on my rock and watched the waves crash against the rocks for at least an hour every evening. My new friend, John, was often there, and he and his dog always stopped to talk to me.

Lauren and I sat out on my deck and listened to country music and drank a six pack of beer.

“Levi asked me for your number,” Lauren said, propping her feet up to the adjacent chair.

“Don’t you dare,” I scolded.

“Don’t you want to start dating? I mean you have to be getting frustrated by now.”

“I am not the least bit frustrated,” I lied, but didn’t truly know that I was lying until that moment. Maybe that would help, maybe I did need some relief, but I didn’t need Levi or any other man to take care of it. I was perfectly capable of it myself.

“How long were you married,” she nosily continued.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Six years.”

“Wow. What did you do get married when you were eighteen?”

I didn’t have to answer that question or any more. Her cellphone rang, and it was Joel telling her he was at her house, wanting to know where she was.

“Gotta go, duty calls,” she joked.

I sat on the deck and stared off into the moonlit ocean. I dumped my warm beer over the side railing and heated a nice cup of Starlight’s relaxing tea instead. I wrapped myself up in my fuzzy blanket and listened to the waves as they collided with the boulders below. This along with my tea was just what I needed to unwind. It didn’t last long when my mind reflected on Lauren’s comment about getting married when I was eighteen.

I was exactly eighteen. Drew was there to claim me on my eighteenth birthday. I thought about the weeks before my birthday, and how much the anticipation burned my soul. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing that night as I lay in my thin walled bedroom and listened to the nice looking man who offered my father twenty five thousand dollars to marry me.

I didn’t even know who he was. I had seen him once. He had come to our worn out school and did a seminar after donating five thousand dollars. I remembered sitting right in front of him and listening to him talk about success and getting out of our situations and how valuable our educations were for our future. I admired him.

I shook my head at how infatuated I was with him that day. He was so cute and dressed like nothing I had ever seen before. He had actually inspired me. I no longer wanted to stay in that poverty stricken town. I wanted out. I wanted to wear fancy clothes like he wore, and drive expensive cars.

He sat beside me on the bottom bleacher once the gym had cleared out. I was in no hurry to go home and often hung around school to keep from it.

“You’re a very pretty girl,” he said, and my faced turned the darkest shade of red possible.

“Thanks,” I said with my head down. How could he say that I was pretty? I was wearing Good Will clothes, and my sneakers were lace-less. My hair was too long and straggly looking, and I didn’t own any makeup. Not that my dad would have ever let me wear it anyway. He didn’t want me to be a whore like my mom.

I should have run that day. I should have started walking and never looked back.

“You should look at me when I am talking to you,” he said, and I looked up. I had to. I was already afraid of him, and I didn’t even know his name.

“I’m Drew,” he said.

“I’m Morgan,” I replied and looked down and then right back up.

He laughed, and I didn’t think I had ever seen such perfect teeth in my life.

“I am going to marry you, Morgan,” he said. I remember choking on my own saliva.

I got up and walked out of the gym, listening to him laugh as I did.

Why would he say that? Why would someone like him want to marry someone like me?

I went to bed that night thinking about Drew, and living the life of luxury. I fell asleep dreaming of the perfect life with the man with the perfect teeth. That dream soon turned into a nightmare when I swore I heard him in my house talking to my father. It was late, very late, and the thin walls did nothing to conceal the private conversation.

I could tell by my dad’s slurring words that he was drunk. I lay on the mattress on my floor, trying to stop my racing heart.

“So you’re telling me that you want to marry my daughter, and you’re willing to pay me twenty five thousand dollars to do so?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I wasn’t property. He couldn’t sell me. I knew he was going to punch him in the face and tell him to get the hell out of his house.

“That’s right, Mr. Willow, but there is one condition that is nonnegotiable.”

“What?” my father asked.

“She has to be pure. If she’s not, I don’t want her.”

“You mean a virgin?”

“Yes, that is exactly what I mean.”

“Well I can guarantee that she is, or she better damn well be anyway, but I didn’t say she was for sale.”

“And what are you going to do with her when she turns eighteen? You know that you are going to lose her welfare and food stamps.”

“I didn’t say she wasn’t for sale either, did I?”

What? This couldn’t be happening. You don’t sell people. This wasn’t some third world country. This was America. Things like that don’t happen here.

“Watch you want a girl like her for anyway? I betcha you could have any girl you wanted.”

“Oh I could, but, it’s time for me to settle down.”

“And no other girls will marry you?”

“Oh I have plenty of women that would love to marry me. I am not interested in spoiled little rich girls. I want a pure girl that can be trained to be the kind of wife that I want.”

Trained? What the hell does that mean?

“Fifty thousand,” my dad spat out.

“Thank you for your time, Mr. Willow,” he stood to leave, and I was praying that my dad let him.

“Thirty thousand,” he retorted, and I couldn’t believe what was going on.

“You’ve got yourself a deal,” he said. I was sure they were shaking on it.

The next three weeks were pure hell. My dad drove me to school every day and picked me up, insuring that I stayed pure. He didn’t go out drinking for three weeks and wouldn’t even let me go out after graduation. We attended the ceremony, stopped at the liquor store and went home to our dumpy little trailer. That was the night that he told me my plans to marry a rich man that was going to take care of me. He tried to make it sound like I was going to be living the life of luxury and he was doing it for my own good. He had forgotten to mention that he was also receiving thirty thousand dollars for selling me off.

I would like to say that my eighteenth birthday was the worst day of my life, but I had many worse days of my life. Drew was there at eight o’clock in the morning to claim me. I had gotten sick so many times during the night, hyperventilating and dry heaving for hours.

He had two men with him. One carried a leather bag, sort of like and old timey doctor’s bag. I stayed in my room, rocking back and forth on my mattress, willing this not to be happening.

My dad yelled for me, and I couldn’t move. I stayed sitting on the mattress staring at the door with my heart in my stomach. He opened the door and the man carrying the bag that I had watched through the window came in with Drew.

“This nice man is going to exam you a little Morgan,” my dad explained.

Exam me? What the fuck?

My dad stepped out, and Drew closed the door behind him.

“I need you to undress from the waist down,” the man said, and I was in panic mode. I wasn’t about to take my jeans off in front of either one of them, let alone let him touch me.

I looked at Drew, and he stood in his fancy suit and tie wearing a smirk.

“Why?” I managed to say.

“We just want to make sure that you are not damaged.”

“I’m not,” I all but yelled.

“Take your pants off, Morgan,” Drew said with his dark eyes that scared the hell out of me.

I didn’t know what to do. This was going to happen whether I wanted it to or not.

After not moving and staring at the two of them in shock, Drew finally squatted to my face and put both of his hands on my knees. “We have a plane waiting on us, Morgan,” he smiled.

“I don’t want to go with you,” I demanded.

He grabbed both my ankles and pulled me flat on my back. I could only stare in total shock. He unbuttoned my jeans and slid them off with my panties in one swift move. I crossed my ankles and covered myself with my hands.

“Spread your legs, Morgan,” Drew spoke while the doctor or whatever he was removed a light and some sort of silver tool.

I couldn’t even cry. I didn’t know what emotions were transpiring as I lay there and trembled.

“Now!” he demanded.

I slowly opened my legs and squeezed my eyes shut. I didn’t know which one of them was even touching me. I thought that Drew had been the one who pulled my knees up, exposing my very personal sex. I jumped when I felt the instrument penetrate me and then felt the warmth from the light between my legs.

“Her Hymen is fully intact,” the man examining me said, pulling the tool from my vagina. I jumped again.

He stepped out leaving me alone with Drew.

“Get dressed, we have to go,” he said, and that was when the tears started.

This was really happening. My dad was really going to let this man take me. Drew squatted down to me again and placed his hands on my bare knees after pulling me back to a sitting position.

“No tears, Morgan. I am doing you the biggest favor of your life. You are going to live like a queen and all you have to do to earn it is listen to me. Now get dressed. We are leaving,” he demanded with a clinched jaw and a look that frightened me to the core. He moved my knees apart and looked down. I quickly snapped them back together. He snickered.

I dressed quickly and pulled on my sneakers.

My dad never said a word as I was led from the trailer. He was too busy counting the dollar bills and anticipating his night at the bar.

I rode in the back seat with Drew, and the two other men sat up front. We drove in silence other than Drew being on his phone talking business and getting mad because of the poor reception. We were driven for almost two hours, and I wondered where I was going. Where was I going to be living? He said we had a plane to catch, but we kept driving and driving. Finally, we arrived at a small airport and Drew led me by my elbow to the private jet.

I looked around, wondering if I could run, knowing that I couldn’t.

“Bring us back some refreshments once we are in the air,” Drew told the man that didn’t exam me. I would soon learn that this man was around a lot.

I was now nervous about flying. I had never been on a plane. Hell, I had never been out of the mountains.

Drew directed me to the leather seat and told me to put my seatbelt on. The white leather was the softest thing I had ever felt in my life, and although I was scared shitless about my future, I couldn’t help but to be a little excited about the flight.

Drew sat beside me and buckled in, as well. Once we were up, I looked out the small window and was in awe of gliding through the clouds. He touched my hair and smiled at me. I flinched and pulled away.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Las Vegas,” he answered.

“Las Vegas?” I asked.

“Did you not hear me the first time?” he snidely remarked.

I didn’t know how to respond. He obviously expected some other reply, but I didn’t know what it was, so I didn’t say anything. I stared out the window, wondering what lay ahead.

I wasn’t a dummy. I knew the distance between West Virginia and Las Vegas. I couldn’t believe that I was going that many miles from the only home I had ever known. Would I ever see my brother again? How would my mom ever find me? My dad could rot in hell. I didn’t care if I ever saw him again.

The man brought two glasses of wine along with some cheese and crackers. Drew handed me the glass of wine, and I sipped it. I didn’t like it and thought it was bitter and sweet. I of course drank it, and the cheese and crackers helped settle my stomach. I had never tasted such rich cheese in my life. If I did eat cheese it was the wrapped imitation kind with not much flavor at all.

I was brought back to current when I sipped my empty cup of tea. It was a lot easier to tell myself that I was going to move here and never think about my previous twenty five years on this earth than it was to actually do it. Maybe I should seek counseling. No. No. I just need to occupy my mind and stop thinking about the past. I liked my job. I loved Lauren, and my house was perfect for me. I even loved the rough terrain beach.

I woke in a panic once again, too early. I sat up and calmed my speeding heart. I was getting used to talking myself down. I thought about the dream and wondered why it always went back to my childhood. I got up and looked out the window. The moon was full and had a misty halo circling it. I could see Justin screaming for me not to let the social worker take him. He was so little and scared. All I could do is watch them take him. They didn’t take me because the lady explained that nobody would want a seventeen year old girl and that I was old enough to take care of myself. She promised that I could see him, but every time I called, she had a different excuse as to why I couldn’t.

I showered even though I should have gone back to bed. I pulled on my new cotton panties and fuzzy socks. I checked myself out in the full length mirror, hanging on the back of my bedroom door. My jeans fit much better than the ones that I had brought with me. I wore one of my new shirts as well, and that too looked good on me. It fit snug and hugged my body in all the right places. I pulled a white button up shirt overtop. I knew I should have worn my old clothes. I was going to get dirty. I was sure of it.

I pulled up to the curb of the coffee shop, knowing that it was closed on Sundays, I didn’t have to worry about taking any parking spaces. I made one pot of coffee for myself and looked around. Where do I begin? I was sure the place had never had a good cleaning, and after a week, my OCD couldn’t take it a second longer. I knew I could rearrange things to make better use of the space. It was a decent size store. It was just going to take more manpower than me. Maybe I could talk Lauren into helping me. I decided that I would start at the very front and work my way back. I needed to work on the front while the store was closed.

I poured a cup of the delicious coffee and started on the windows. Wow. These things have never been cleaned. I cleaned the windowsills first, using three buckets of water to rid the wood from the dust and grime. Starlight definitely wasn’t the cleaning type. After cleaning the wood trim I decided that I should clean the walls, as well. I was sure that they had never had a good scrubbing either.

The sun was just coming up, and I was almost finished with the front wall. I was astounded at the difference between the front wall and the side walls. They weren’t tan after all. They were a very unique pale yellow. I liked it. I was just finishing up with the window cleaner on the door when I heard the tap on the glass. I peeked down from the chair that I had been using for a ladder and hopped down.

“Kind of early for criminals eh, sheriff?” I asked, opening the door for Dawson.

“Or late,” he replied, stepping in, “and I told you, call me Dawson.”

“What can I do for you?” I asked, not wanting to stop my task at hand. I was making good time, and I wanted to keep at it.

“I just got off of the night shift and saw the lights on here. What on earth are you doing here this time of morning?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Couldn’t sleep, I have had this on my mind since I started working here, so I decided to get up and get it done.”

“Wow,” he said turning to the clean storefront.

“I know. Isn’t it nice?”

“It’s amazing,” he said, not believing the difference. “You have a cup of coffee?” he asked, walking to the pot not giving me time to answer.

No. I don’t. I want you to leave. I don’t have time for entertaining.

“Sure, help yourself.”

I didn’t stop to chat or entertain. I emptied my mop bucket again and started on the next wall, hoping he took the hint. He didn’t. He sat at the table and watched.

“You know coffee has caffeine. I would think after working the night shift you would want to go home and sleep,” I tried.

“Are you trying to get rid of me?”

Yes. That is exactly what I am trying to do.

“No, not at all, but if you stick around too long, I might put you to work.”

“Let me go home and change, and I would be happy to help you.”

I was speechless for a moment. I was joking. I didn’t think he would take me up on it.

I laughed. “Thanks, but I’m okay. You should get some sleep.”

“I actually won’t go to bed until tonight. I am on days during the week, and if I sleep, I will be all messed up and won’t be able to sleep tonight.”

“Thanks for the offer but I couldn’t ask you to help me.”

“I don’t think you asked, Riley. I think I offered.”

Now what the hell was I supposed to do? I could use some muscles to help me move the shelves, and I would really like to move the cash register counter closer to the door.

“You’ll get dishpan hands.”

“I’m a bachelor. I am used to dishpan hands.”

Great, just what I need, a bachelor.

I turned to look at him, trying to think of something to say. I noticed how handsome he was and how nice he looked in uniform. He had a military cut, and I could tell that he was very well built. He was wearing a five o’clock shadow and had the bluest eyes I had ever seen. I wondered if they were contacts.

What the hell is wrong with you, Morgan? You are not getting involved with a man. Forget it.

I broke our gaze and turned back to wiping the wall. I still hadn’t said anything, and had no idea what to say. I had never in my life said no to a man. I wasn’t trained that way.

“It’s settled. I’ll see you in an hour.”

Dawson left, and I sank to the floor. I didn’t want him to help. I didn’t want him around. I jumped when my cellphone started singing something about having a girl’s night out. I knew it was Lauren. Every time she was around she was changing the ringtone on my phone.

“Where the hell are you? I was going to come over and eat your leftovers.”

“At the shop cleaning, you can go over and eat my leftovers if you come here and hangout with me so that I don’t have to be alone with the sheriff.”

“Why is the sheriff there?”

“He saw the lights on and stopped to make sure everything was okay. He saw what I was doing and has now gone home to change so that he can come back and help me.”

“Are you kidding me, Ry? That man doesn’t have an interest in women. He hasn’t dated since his wife left him.”

“When was that?” I asked for unknown reasons.

“Um, let’s see. I have been here for almost two years, and I think she left about a year before that so I would say three years or so.”

I almost asked why she left and then remembered that I didn’t care.

“Please come here. I don’t want to be alone with him.”

“Fine, I will be there in a little bit, but I don’t understand you. Let me get Dawson Bade alone.”

“Well, I will gladly go to the back so that you can do that.”

“Yeah right, I have asked that man out three times now. My ego won’t take any more than that.”

I was dreading the day ahead with Dawson. I didn’t mind Lauren and was glad that she was coming, but I really, really, really didn’t want Dawson to be there.

Lauren showed up first, and Dawson was only ten minutes behind her. Lauren and I were talking about how handsome he was, or she was anyway. I was trying my best not to notice. That worked until he showed up in jeans and a nice fitting t-shirt.

Oh, my God. Stop it, Riley.

I was pleasantly surprised at how much fun we had. We all worked and talked. I was relieved that I didn’t have to answer any personal questions. I didn’t really have anything to talk about, but commented on the things that Dawson and Lauren talked about. We managed to get all of the walls washed down and after Lauren, and I moved all of the things from the shelves we all turned them. After three tries, I had them the way that I wanted them. I was proud of myself. I had a really hard time, telling them that I didn’t like it the way we moved it the first time, and the second time was even worse. Thank God Dawson picked up on it.

“You don’t like it, do you?” he asked, looking at me staring at the shelves.

I looked over to him, and our eyes did that uncomfortable locking thing again.

“Not really,” I smiled and turned my eyes quickly back to the shelves.

We worked until after four and stopped when our pizza arrived. We all sat at the same table, and I looked around at our work. I couldn’t believe we got as much done as we had. I just wished we would have gotten the wood floors cleaned. After moving the shelves, you could really see a difference in the two toned wooden floor. The walls were spectacular, and I was going to talk to Lauren about her friend in the construction business about having the ceilings painted. The register by the door was a lot nicer too. You could actually engage in conversation with the customers, rather than being in the back of the store.

I hope Starlight isn’t mad about changing everything.

“Earth to Riley,” Dawson said snapping his fingers.

“What? Sorry. I was just thinking about what to do next.”

“I’m leaving,” Lauren abruptly said, afraid that I was going to start another project at that time.

“I didn’t mean now,” I said, giving her a look of, don’t leave me alone with him.

It didn’t work.

“I will see you at home. I need a shower,” and she was out the door. I knew she was leaving me on purpose and wanted me to be alone with Dawson.

“You should probably leave and get some sleep too,” I said to Dawson, standing up to clean up our paper plates.

“Yeah, you wore me out today too. I should sleep like a baby.”

The mention of sleep made me apprehensive about going to bed. I wasn’t sleeping much lately, and I hated waking and remembering my nightmares.

“You can go. I’m not far behind you. Thanks for your help today. I greatly appreciate it.”

Dawson stood and sucked the noisy soda through the ice of his cup. “Don’t mention it. It was fun. I would love to see the look on Starlight’s face when she walks in this door.”

“I just hope she’s not mad. I mean she did tell me to do whatever I wanted, but I’m not sure meant remodel the whole place,” I smiled.

“She will love it. I’ll see you later.”

Please stop smiling at me like that.

“Okay. Thanks again for your help.”

I didn’t leave and worked until after nine. I was hoping that getting myself good and exhausted would cause me to fall into a deep sleep and not be tormented by my dreams.

It worked, and I slept sounder and healthier than I had since I had left Drew.

I felt rehabilitated and improved as I unlocked the back door to the store on Monday morning. The three locals showed up just as the last pot of coffee had run through. All three of the older men made a big deal about how clean the place was. I felt very comfortable with them for the first time, and had no problem talking and laughing with the men as they drank their morning coffees.

I was rearranging some clothes on the rack toward the back of the store when I heard the one man that they called Tom.

“Good morning, Sheriff. What brings you out and about on a Monday?” he asked, knowing that he was usually only there on Saturday mornings.

“Morning, Tom, Jake, Luke. Just thought I would stop in and see what all the talk about the new look was all about.”

I smiled, amused that he didn’t mention doing half the work.

I was looking right at him still carrying the smile when he looked around, looking for me, I was sure.

He smiled when he saw me. “Morning, Riley.”

“Good morning, Sheriff,” I said and nervously moved my eyes away from his.

That wasn’t the only day that Dawson showed up. He was there every morning after that. I tried not to let things be awkward between us. I also made little comments about not being interested in romance or dating, hoping that he got the hint.

My week was going well. I had managed to get the entire front of the store reorganized and looking like a new place. I worked late into the night, mostly because it did wear me out and I slept better.

My next project was the office, and I had to keep telling myself that the store was just as bad, and the outcome was well worth the work. I was going to start on it as soon as I had locked up on Friday. I was on the phone with Starlight wanting to know how things were going when Dawson walked in.

What the hell is he doing here?

He only smiled and took the last little bit of coffee from the pot.

I finished up my conversation with Starlight after telling her that things were going great and not to worry and have a good time.

I started rinsing the pots and cleaning up when Levi walked in, as well.

“Hello,” I said, surprised that he was there. I had only seen him in there once since I had started.

“Hey, Riley. How are you?”

“Good, Levi, and you?” I asked as I continued to clean up.

Levi and Dawson exchanged greetings, and Levi turned his attention back to me.

“Ms. Riley, would you like to accompany me to dinner tonight?” he asked, and my mouth dropped.

No, I wouldn’t.

“Thanks for the offer, Levi, but I am not leaving here for a while. I need to get some things done in the office, and I can’t really do it until I close the store.”

“How about I bring us food here?”

Now what the hell do I say? Just be blunt and tell him Ry.

“Levi, I appreciate the offer, but I’m really not interested. Okay?” I asked, hoping he understood that I wasn’t going to date him.

“Okay, but just so you know, I don’t give up easily.”

Great.

“I’ll see you around.” He nodded to the sheriff and was gone.

“Turning down Levi Straits uh?” Dawson said with some sort of stupid sexy grin that made me crazy.

“Yes. I guess so.”

“Why?”

None of your business.

I shrugged my shoulders. “Not interested in men,” I said matter-of-fact.

He looked at me with narrowed eyes. “Were you married before moving here?”

“Yes,” I said with only that and continued to clean up the coffee bar.

“How long?”

I looked at him, hoping that he could read my face and take the hint that I didn’t want to talk about my past with him. “Six years,” I replied.

“Was it ruthless or mutual?”

Okay, now I am getting a little annoyed.

“Mutual,” I lied. “What are you doing here?” I bluntly asked.

He snickered. “I was going to ask you out to dinner, but now I am afraid to.”

“I would say no anyway.”

“I didn’t ask you out on a date. Just because you are not the same sex as me, doesn’t mean that we can’t be friends, does it?”

“We are friends, but I still don’t think dinner is a good idea.”

“Why? You do eat, don’t you?”

I snickered that time. “Yeah. I eat, but I wasn’t lying about tackling the office tonight.”

“How about you give the makeover a break and go out to eat with me. Not on a date, just as friends. You’ve been in here from daylight to dark all week. Take a break.”

Say no Riley, say no.

“Fine, I need to go home and shower.”

“Me too, you didn’t think that I was going to take you out in this, did you?” he asked, looking down at his uniform.

“You’re not taking me out. We are going to get food, something we both need.”

He laughed. “I’ll pick you up at your house in an hour.”

My house!?!

“Okay, see ya in a little while.”

I groaned as soon as he was out the door. Why can’t I just learn to say no? Why was that such a challenge for me?

Because you were never allowed to say no, that’s why, but you can now you coward.

Chapter 4

Dawson picked me up in his pickup truck. He got out and opened the door for me. I was chastising myself as soon as I saw him in his jeans, button up shirt and brown leather loafers. I reprimanded myself again when I breathed in his cologne.

“You look very nice,” he commented, and I gave him a look.

“This is not a date remember?” I said but was smiling on the inside.

He playfully put his hands in the air and laughed. “I am sorry, but it’s really hard not to notice how nice your ass looks in those jeans.”

How many shades of red are there?

“You are definitely not allowed to say stuff like that.”

He laughed and closed my door.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Put your seatbelt on, we’re going into Marshall and eat ribs at ‘Hogly Wogley’s.”

“I was going to put my seatbelt on, sheriff,” I said, and he laughed.

We were talking about the coffee shop while we drove through the little town. When we passed the bar that Lauren had taken me to, Dawson pulled into the parking lot. I wondered what he was doing, and then I saw what he was doing.

“Stay in the truck,” he said and got out.

I rolled down the window so I could listen. He grabbed a guy off of another guy who was punching him in the face. He jerked him to his feet and stood between the two men.

“What the hell are you doing, Mike?” he asked, holding him by the chest.

“He started it. Tell him to keep his mouth shut about shit he doesn’t know anything about,” the guy yelled, angrily, pointing his finger at his opponent.

“Tim, what’s this all about?” he said turning to the other guy.

“Dude, I didn’t mean to piss you off. I didn’t know Chuck was your boss.”

Dawson facilitated the conversation and in no time had the two men calmed down.

“Are we done here?” he asked them. They both said yes.

“Good, shake hands and go drink a beer. No drinking and driving,” he warned and left with the two guys walking back inside as friends.

I looked up to the crowd that had gathered out front and saw Levi staring right at me.

Oh, how nice.

He gave me a nod, and I did the same.

“Sorry about that,” Dawson said as we backed up.

“It’s okay, but you just got me in trouble. Levi was there.”

“And you care?”

“No, not necessarily, but I did blow him off, remember?”

“Trust me, Riley, Levi Straits is not going home alone tonight.”

Well, I’m glad I did shoot him down then.

We ate the best and messiest ribs I had ever tasted in my life. There was nothing elegant about them at all. I couldn’t help but think about Drew eating something that messy. He would have had his little servant there picking the meat off the bone for him.

I had a good time with Dawson, and we talked and laughed about nothing at all. That too made me think about Drew. I had never in the six years that I was married to him, laughed with him. Yes, I am sure that I faked many laughs, but this was different. Dawson was just a charming funny guy, and so much fun to be around.

Dawson had no sooner dropped me off when Lauren walked uninvited through my front door.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were going out with Dawson?” she spouted.

“I didn’t know that I was,” I replied.

“Levi called me. He said you blew him off to go for Dawson.”

“Levi wanted to take me on a date. Dawson and I are just friends.”

“Do you really believe that, Ry?”

“What?” I asked surprised, “that we are just friends?”

“Yes.”

“Of course I believe it. There was nothing romantic about it.”

“Yeah okay, whatever.”

“There wasn’t, and I am not dating Dawson, Levi or anyone else. Now stop it.”

“Let’s go to the bar,” she said letting it go.

“Um, no. I am staying home.”

“Come on, Ry. Don’t make me go by myself.”

“I just saw Joel on your porch. You’re not going alone. You little conniver.”

“But I don’t want you to sit here alone.”

“I like being alone. I am going to change and veg out on the couch. I’m tired. I worked harder than I am used to this week.”

“Fine, party pooper, I will talk to you later.”

I did veg out on the couch and dozed off by ten. It was the first night in almost a week that I dreamed, and again I was taken back in time to being a little girl. My mom had just gotten home from her shift at the truck stop. I was twelve, and Justin was just a tiny baby, maybe two or three months old. He was sick and burning up with a fever. I was trying to give him a bottle and rock him and do everything that a twelve year old child would know to get him to stop.

My mom took him from me and was mad because I let him get sick. I was crying and trying to explain that I had told my dad to stop and tell her that he was sick on his way to the bar, but she wouldn’t listen and slapped me across the face for back talking her.

That was the first time that I was ever alone. She took him to the hospital, and they kept him for three days. I knew he was in the hospital because my dad had come home long enough to shower and leave again for his weekend bar routine. He never came home that night, and my mom never came home. It was the dead of winter, and again I couldn’t keep the only heat source burning. It was freezing in the trailer, and there was no food in the cabinets or freezer. I ate a bag of microwave popcorn the first night and dry cereal for the next two days. I was afraid that nobody was ever coming back, and by the third day I was hungry, scared and freezing.

My parents came home together with Justin, and again I was in trouble because the fire was out. It was so cold in the old trailer that there was ice on the inside of the windows. My dad bent me over his legs on the sofa, no, he didn’t bend me over, he threw me over his legs. My mom stood there and watched him hit me over and over until she finally told him that was enough.

I woke up to Justin crying in my room a few hours later. I waited for my mom to come and get him, but she didn’t come. I left him crying in my room while I heated a bottle. I hated my parents and neither one of them deserved me or Justin. I could hear the bed creaking and both my parents moaning and going at it in the next room. I put Justin in bed with me after changing his diaper and covered us both up.

I didn’t wake panic or scared with this dream. I felt pain and neglect and my heart ached for Justin, hoping that he was doing well. I wanted to go there and find him, just to make sure for myself, but I didn’t dare. I knew that Drew had somebody staked out there, waiting to see me. I wiped the single tear from my eye and got up. I didn’t have to open the shop for another two hours, but I dressed and went anyway. I would rather have been working then alone with my thoughts.

Before I knew it, I had been in my new dwellings for a month. I did hang out with Dawson quite often, and he hung around the shop drinking more coffee than normal. The store looked sensational, and the office was actually a well productive working space now. I filed everything in the empty filing cabinets that were buried with boxes and boxes of stuff that I was sure Starlight didn’t even know she had. I used some of the petty cash and Dawson built shelves in the storeroom for me. I had everything organized and on shelves. I had found some really funky things in the storeroom and continued to make the dining room more, customer friendly. There was a box that I was sure Starlight had gotten for that purpose that had yellow and white checkered tablecloths. I brought out three booths that were also buried in the back, and Dawson screwed them to the floor for me in front of the glass windows. I brought out three more tables and covered them all with the tablecloths.

I also found a whole stack of beautiful Indian paintings that needed to be on display. They were beautiful. The first day that I had hung them on the hooks that Dawson also hung for me, I sold three of them. I hung some uniquely made dream catchers which were also selling like crazy. I found the company that had made them and ordered another box in all shapes and sizes.

Lauren and Dawson helped two Sundays in a row, scrubbing and re-staining the wood floors. I couldn’t wait for Starlight to get back to see her new store. I also hoped that she wasn’t going to be mad at all of the changes that I took upon myself to do.

A young girl from the next town over stopped in one day and had just opened up a cookie and cupcake store and wanted to know if I would be interested in placing an order. I had told her that I would order once and see how they went and if they did okay I would order more. They did more than okay, and she was bringing fresh orders daily. The display case that Dawson helped get from the back room to beside the counter was perfect and I even had room for Phyllis’s Saturday morning doughnuts in the case. I was the one to get the cookies, cupcakes, and pastries from the case. I hated the way it was before and people could just finger whatever. I felt much better about taking the food out with my plastic gloved hand.

Dawson was there, as normal, earlier than he needed to be on Saturday morning. I was frantically cleaning and making sure everything was perfect for Starlight. I was a nervous wreck and hoped that she was okay with all of the changes.

“Will you get over here and sit down,” Dawson pleaded. “I know Starlight. She is going to love it.”

I got a cup of coffee and sat at the booth in front of the window with him, patiently waiting and wishing that she would get there already.

“You want to go eat some ribs tonight?” Dawson asked as we waited.

“Hmm, maybe,” I replied.

“Maybe?”

“Well it’s six o’clock in the morning. I can’t think about supper until I have breakfast and lunch.”

Dawson laughed. “Okay, let me know after lunch.”

I ran to the back room when I heard the door unlock, knowing that it was Starlight. She came in with huge eyes, and her hand covered her mouth. Dawson had followed me back, wanting to see her reaction, as well.

“Oh, my God, Riley, did you do all of this,” she asked in awe of the neatly organized storeroom that you could actually see the floor, and it was clean.

“Well, I had some help,” I answered, smiling at Dawson. “I would have never been able to do it all myself.”

“You haven’t seen anything yet, Starlight. This girl is a working machine. Welcome home,” Dawson added.

“I don’t think I am home. This is not the store that I left.”

She walked down the hall and opened the office door and gasped. I had hung pictures on the walls, the desk was clear, except for the computer and a folder in a medal slot with an order for some psychedelic flip-flops that I wanted to purchase for the store. It was now pretty warm out, and with the tourists that I had been getting in the store, I knew they would sell.

Starlight couldn’t believe what she was seeing. She opened the drawers and filing cabinet with the wisely placed tabs with a tangible system. She couldn’t seem to close her mouth. She continued and walked in both the men’s and women’s restrooms. They too were transformed into delicately decorated rooms. Both rooms had an Indian theme and the décor all came from things that I had found in the storeroom, except for the paint. We did paint those two rooms because they desperately needed it. The rust colored paint with the Indian design looked almost urban.

“Riley, I am speechless,” she exclaimed.

“So you’re not mad?”

“Mad? No way. I am in shock that you did this.”

“Keep walking,” Dawson said. I gasped when I felt him place his hand on the small of my back. I knew it was just a friendly gesture, but it made me feel like, like, I don’t know, like maybe I liked it.

I thought Starlight was going to have a heart attack when she finally made it to the front. She took note of every little detail, not missing a thing, and commenting on every little alteration.

She loved the new look and thought that my design was magnificent. She thought we had painted there too, and couldn’t believe it when I told her that we only scrubbed the walls. I told her that I had wanted to get the ceilings painted as well, but didn’t want to use all of her petty cash.

“I will get the ceilings painted for you,” she almost demanded. She walked around the new counter and slid the deli case open just in time for Phyllis to bring in the Saturday morning doughnuts.

“Oh, I better get the coffee going,” I said, forgetting the time after getting wrapped up in showing Starlight everything.

“Oh no, you don’t. You’ve done enough. I’ve got it,” Starlight demanded, taking a bite of an oatmeal cookie. “I love the cookie idea, and I love you, Riley Murphy,” she stated. Dawson and I smiled at each other.

Dawson didn’t hangout as long as he normally did, and Starlight was again amazed at the traffic that came in and out all day. We didn’t get to close until an hour later than normal and stayed another hour restocking the sold merchandise.

“Riley, I don’t know if we can keep up at this rate,” she said as she replenished the tie-dye shirts on the rack.

I smiled at her, and she shook her head. “Let me guess, you already have it covered?”

“I do,” I said. “I sent for a catalogue from this company out of Oregon. They have the coolest stuff ever,” I explained, disappearing to the office to retrieve it.

Starlight followed me, and we sat across from each other at the desk while she turned each page. I had corner pages folded of the things that I thought would be nice for the store and she circled a few things, as well.

My cellphone rang, and I answered the call from Dawson.

“Are we eating ribs or not? I’m starving.”

“I forgot all about it, Dawson. You go ahead. I think I am going home and making homemade pizza.”

“You made me wait until eight o’clock at night and didn’t call me. I’m coming over for homemade pizza,” he demanded, and I laughed.

I wasn’t nervous around him anymore and wasn’t worried about anything happening between us. We had been hanging out for a month, and he had never even tried to kiss me.

“Okay, I have to stop at the store and then I am headed that way.”

“Sheriff Dawson, uh?” Starlight smiled.

“No, we’re just friends. There is nothing romantic between Dawson and me.”

“Why not? Dawson is a great guy.”

“I just got out of one mess. I am not interested in another one. No thank you. I will see you Monday,” I said, taking my purse from the hook.

“No, you won’t. You take the day off, take a couple of them if you want. You deserve it.”

“I really would rather be here, Starlight,” I admitted, not wanting to be home alone with my thoughts.

“Well, only if you want to be. Thank you so much for all of this, Riley. I couldn’t have asked you to do half of what you did.”

“I’m just glad you like it.”

“I love it. Have a good night.”

It was almost nine before I got the pizza in the oven. Dawson came, and I told him to chill out while I grabbed a shower. I didn’t care that he was there, and I was putting on comfortable clothes, done with the whole impressing somebody else situation. I put on a baggy comfortable t-shirt and a pair of soft flannel pants. I figured we would end up sitting on the deck, and although the days were fairly hot, the evening ocean air was brisk.

“I brought a couple of movies,” Dawson said as I entered wrapping my hair in a ponytail.

Lauren was there and sitting on the sofa.

“Hey, what are you doing? I figured you would be with Joel tonight,” I said when I saw her.

“I am. Dawson answered your phone and said you were making homemade pizza.”

I laughed. I don’t think the girl ever cooked. She just came to my house and helped herself.

The three of us sat out on the deck and ate pizza and drank beer. I tried to tell Lauren to invite Joel over to my house, but they wanted to go to the bar because they had a band. She tried to get us to come with them, and I refused. She didn’t push it. My turning her down to hang out in the bar was starting to catch on, and she didn’t badger me about it as much.

She drank two beers, ate two slices of pizza and left to meet Joel.

Dawson and I stayed out on the deck and consumed more alcohol than I should have been drinking. I could feel it, and knew that was my limit when I stumbled a little when I went into the bathroom.

“Comedy romance or action romance?” Dawson asked, holding up the two DVD’s.

Romance? Awesome.

“I don’t care. You pick.”

We sat on separate ends of the couch, and he picked a comedy romance with Sandra Bullock. I had already seen the movie but didn’t tell him and watched it anyway. The wedding part took me back to my wedding day, and I stared blankly at the TV.

I was looking out the small jet window when I knew that we were descending. I saw one runway and knew that we were going to land there. I remembered my heart beating too fast and was trying to talk myself out of a full blown panic attack. We landed the Jet and a black limousine picked us up.

“Good evening, sir,” the man dressed in a black suit nodded to Drew, opening the door for us. I didn’t know where the other two men had gone that was on the flight with us, but they didn’t get into the car with us.

Drew talked on his phone the entire time we were in the limo, not that it was a long drive. We were pulling up to the mansion of a house fifteen minutes later. I had found out later that the runway was his own private runway and was on the property of the estate. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. We drove through two stone pillars with the numbers 41293. I remembered repeating the number over and over in my head, just in case somebody cared and needed to come and rescue me. I wondered why the gate read, Callaway Estates, but assumed he had purchased it from the Callaway’s or something.

I could barely keep my mouth shut when we were let into the house by a lady, maybe mid-thirties or so. She smiled at me and could probably tell how scared I was. Drew was still talking to someone on the phone, telling whoever he was talking to that he couldn’t drop price and to tell them that if they wanted it, the price was thirty five thousand and to take it or leave it.

Wow, what could he be selling for thirty five thousand dollars? No wonder he lived here.

Drew held my elbow and led me to his office where two other men were waiting for us. He walked around and sat in the oversized leather chair. I stood awkwardly at the door. The one guy was the one who had traveled with him to retrieve me. I wondered how he had gotten there before us and why he hadn’t ridden in the limousine with us.

“Let’s get this over with. I have a plane to catch.” he told one of the men.

“You sign here,” the same man in an expensive suit said, sliding the paper to him.

All three men turned to look at me, and I didn’t know what I was supposed to be doing.

“Come on, Morgan, I don’t have all day,” Drew said. I was still puzzled.

He got up and pulled me by the arm to his desk when I didn’t move. He grabbed my hand and shoved the pen in it.

“Sign!” he almost yelled, poking hard at the X where my name was already printed.

My hand started to tremble when I saw the top of the paper that said Secretary of the State, Nevada, and then it said certificate of marriage.

What! This was my wedding? I couldn’t believe it. What was his motive? Why was he doing this?

“Sign the Goddamn X, Morgan!” he yelled, and I could feel the tears forming in my eyes. I didn’t want to sign. I didn’t want to marry Drew Kelley.

He grabbed my hand and scribbled my name with his.

“Witness it, Derik,” he demanded and the other man signed as well.

I was speechless. What the hell was going on? I was just forced to marry someone against my will. A very rich someone that didn’t care about the law, or that we had just gotten married illegally, I was sure.

“That isn’t real,” I stated boldly. “You have to have a county of the clerk or a judge or preacher or justice of the peace,” I was rattling on and on nervously. Drew laughed.

“Don’t worry, Mrs. Kelley. Ronald is a judge. It’s legal. Somebody get her the fuck out of here,” he said, and the lady that met us at the door came to retrieve me.

“I will show you to your quarters, Mrs. Kelley.”

“I am not Mrs. Kelley. Stop calling me that,” I demanded. She shushed me.

“That is what I am ordered to call you. Please don’t make it difficult for me. I am just trying to do my job.”

“But don’t you even care that I don’t want to be here? I don’t want to be his wife. I don’t even want to be in the same state as him. I hate him already.”

The lady shushed me again. “Everything that you say Mrs. Kelley is heard by Mr. Kelley,” she whispered.

Great so now I am going to be spied on too.

“Do you have a name?” I asked.

“Rebecca,” she answered, moving me right along.

She opened the double doors, and I couldn’t help but suck in a deep breath at the beauty of the room, my room. It was absolutely gorgeous. The king size bed was bigger than my whole bedroom in the trailer. I never saw Drew again that night or for the next seven nights. Rebecca explained to me that he had to fly to Africa on business, and he would talk to me when he returned. I hoped he didn’t return, and his plane went down in the African rain forest, and he was eaten by a lion.

Rebecca showed me around, and I gasped again at the bathroom. She told me to get cleaned up and to come back to the kitchen after I was bathed. She explained that she had a few things sent for me but not much, and I would have a fitting the following day for more clothes.

A fitting?

I showered with shower heads hitting every part of my body. I had to admit even though I was scared shitless, wondering what the hell a good looking rich man would want to marry me for, I couldn’t help but be just a little excited. The shower gel scent was outlandish and left my skin feeling soft and smooth.

I put on the pants suit that was left for me on my luxurious bed and it was so pretty and soft, it made me want to do my hair and put on makeup. I didn’t of course. I didn’t have anything to do that with, yet.

I wanted to open every door that I passed as I went to find Rebecca. I passed another younger girl that didn’t speak or look at me. She was carrying a stack of towels, and I assumed she too worked for Drew.

I didn’t sit at the massive table in the dining room. I sat in the kitchen at the table that was still at least three times bigger than my wobbly table back home. I had the best meal I had ever had in my life. I had heard of shrimp scampi from the magazines that I used to get from the library and always looked at the recipes wishing that I could try some of them.

I actually went to bed with a smile. I had the biggest flat screen TV that you could possibly buy. I stayed up so late watching all of the channels. We had a TV back home, but it was an old console one, and we didn’t have cable. We had an antenna and only got two channels. You had to beat the side of it every so often to make the lines stop rolling up it. I was so comfortable in the massive plush bed with satin designer sheets. I couldn’t believe that I was there. I think it was around two in the morning when I finally turned off the television and dozed off.

I had slept until almost eleven before Rebecca finally came into wake me.

“Mrs. Kelley, it’s time to wake up. You have an appointment at noon,” she said.

I remember thinking that it must have been a dream. I felt so good in the bed, and the silk nightgown felt elegant against my skin. I didn’t want to wake up. I liked the dream.

“Mrs. Kelley,” Rebecca called again, waking me from my dream that wasn’t a dream after all. “You have to get up and get something to eat. You have an appointment soon.”

“Appointment for what?” I asked sleepily. “Where am I going?”

“You have an appointment here to have your hair and nails done, and they are doing your fitting so that you can get more clothes.”

This is not real. This doesn’t happen in real life.

I was going to put on the same pant suit from the night before, but it was gone and a new light pink pants and jacket were in its place. It was the softest material I had touched in my life. I looked at the tag, and it said 100% cashmere. I didn’t want to put on the stockings or the shoes. I loved the feel of the plush carpet under my feet, but I did wear them. I had a feeling bare feet weren’t quite acceptable around there.

I had fruit and coffee for breakfast. I was eighteen and had never tasted coffee in my life. It was divine with just a hint of vanilla.

“What does Drew do, Rebecca?” I asked, curious about his business.

“That is a subject for you and Mr. Kelley,” she replied. I had a feeling that she was pretty loyal to Drew, and I wouldn’t be getting any information from her.

My hair was past my waist. I wasn’t upset at all about cutting it. I had wanted it cut for a long time. I had even tried to cut some of the length off myself, but the only scissors that I could find in the trailer were too dull to cut one strand. I was not as happy about dying it. I liked my brown hair and wasn’t crazy about being a blonde.

“You can cut it, but I will decline the blonde,” I said.

Rebecca bent down to my ear sitting in the chair. “Mr. Kelley wants your hair lightened. Don’t be difficult, please,” she pleaded.

I let them do my hair. I let them do my nails and a pedicure that felt wonderful. I loved being pampered and couldn’t believe that I had three people sucking up and kissing my ass the way that they were. However when it came to the bikini wax I was having no part of it. My hair was down there for a reason, and nobody was waxing it off, let alone one of these strangers, especially the guy. I threw a fit for ten minutes, refusing to lie on the table. Rebecca pulled me out to the hall and pointed to three men.

“Mrs. Kelley, I am ordered to have you forcefully held down by those three men if you refuse to cooperate. I don’t want to do that, and it is not in your best interest either. Please just let them do their job. You are done after that, and can do whatever you want.”

“Rebecca, why do I have to do that? I don’t want my vagina waxed.”

“I am afraid it’s going to happen whether you want it to or not.”

I couldn’t believe that I was laying on top of that table getting a bikini wax. I didn’t want the guy in there but lost that fight too. He was there explaining that he was going to brush something on me, sort of like Anbesol for toothaches. He said that it would help with the pain.

Pain? Really? This truly wasn’t real life.

I closed my eyes in embarrassment and humiliation while my pubic hair was being ripped from my body. I didn’t even protest when the guy lifted my right knee and rubbed warm wax on my left lip. I knew I would just be fighting a losing battle. I did scream however when he swiftly pulled it off. He did the same with my right leg and then rolled me to my side, making sure I was clean all the way back to my other hole. I had never been so humiliated in my life, and they acted like it was no big deal. I assumed that it probably wasn’t, and I certainly wasn’t the first girl that they had given a bikini wax to.

Rebecca told me that I could shower and that I was done for the day. She said that my supper should be about ready and to come to the kitchen when I was ready.

I decided to bath in the oversized tub and hissed a little when the hot water reached my recently stripped sex. I slid my hand down, and the only patch of hair was a neatly trimmed line running straight down the middle. I touched the smoothness of my lips and actually liked the feel of it.

I stood naked in front of the full length mirror. I didn’t look like the same girl. My hair was cut just below my shoulders and tapered around my face. The highlights and the blonde made me look older than I was. I wondered if that was the purpose of going blonde. I moved my eyes down my curves and once again touched my naked sex. I knew that this was another one of Drew’s demands, and got a little nervous when I thought about him wanting to have sex with me. I knew it was inevitable and that it was just a matter of time. Why else would he demand that I be a virgin or want me naked down there? Any idiot could figure that out.

Later that night, once I was in my bed for the night, my phone rang beside my bed. I didn’t know whether or not I should answer it. Was it my phone or was it ringing throughout the house?

“Hello,” I finally answered.

“Hello, you are even more beautiful now,” the voice said, and I knew that it was Drew.

“How do you know how I look?” I asked, looking around the room for a camera.

“I can see you in every room of my house, my dear.”

“Every room?” I asked, thinking about touching myself in front of the mirror. He laughed.

“Yes, my love, every room, but for future references, you’re not allowed to touch yourself.”

“Go to hell. I’ll do what I want, when I want,” I scolded. Who did he think he was?

He laughed again. “I assure you, Mrs. Kelley, you won’t, and I wouldn’t advise you to speak to me like that forthcoming.”

“Why?” I said boldly. He was in Africa, although I knew that I wouldn’t have spoken to him like that had he been standing in front of me.

“Because you will be punished for outbursts like that.”

“And how do plan to punish me?” I asked, but was already in half of a panic attack.

“I am sure you will soon find out. I will see you in a few days, Mrs. Kelley,” he said and hung up.

“Riley!” Dawson called. I was sure that it wasn’t the first time he had called my name.

I turned to look at him.

“One of these days you are going to have to tell me where it is you go when you zone out like that,” he stated.

I hadn’t even noticed the credits rolling up the screen.

“Sorry,” I said and shut the television off. I looked at the clock and knew that he should be leaving soon. It was the weekend. He worked the nightshift, and had to go home to change.

I picked up our beer bottles and carried them to the kitchen. I turned around, and Dawson was right there. He didn’t give me time to speak, or protest when he backed me up to the sink and kissed me.

Damnit, Dawson. Why do you have to go and mess up a good thing?

I parted my lips just a little, and his tongue darted in and entwined with mine. I hadn’t even realized that I had moaned in his mouth until I heard it with my own ears. It was most certainly my moan. His hands went up my sides and around my back pulling me closer to him, and I didn’t have the power to make him stop.

Really vagina? You traitor.

It was a good thing that he stopped because I was ready to rip my clothes off right there on the kitchen floor.

“Jesus, Ry,” he whispered to my lips.

“What the hell did you do, sheriff?”

“I don’t know, but I liked it,” he said, kissing me softly again and then pulling away.

“You better get out of here,” I whispered back to his lips, willing myself not to shove my tongue down his throat again.

“Yes, I better,” he agreed and kissed me again, and again, and again. He finally pulled away and I followed him to the door, locking up behind him.

What the fuck was that?

I cleaned up the kitchen and crawled into bed, flipped on the television and dialed Lauren.

“What’s wrong,” she answered alarmed.

“Dawson freaking kissed me,” I blurted out.

“He did? How was it?”

“I don’t know yet, confusing I guess.”

“Ry, you should have known that it was going to happen. I mean you two do spend a lot of time together.”

“I am not ready for that, Lauren.”

“Forget that. Life is too short to wait around. I have to go, Ry. I’m getting ready to sing. I will be over in the morning.”

“Okay, break a leg. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

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